max and the moxie

gaga

2009-03-29T19:42:00.001-07:00

ok. so, i just want to say that having a child, working full time and going to school full time kinda makes it hard to update a blog. and have a life. i mean, there is only so much i can write about school, work, baby and lack of sleep, right?

1. school. is kewl. seriously, i am in thesis, and gearing up for my schematic review. the first review went without a hitch, but there is so much work to be done for this baby. i am feeling a little talent free and at 2 am i start to draw trees in rooms, but i am sure it will work out. i met with a panel member today and am feeling, well, like i have a lot to accomplish. so i'm keeping on, keeping on.

2. work. meh. i mean, happy to still be employed, but there is a bit of drudgery. but hey. still employed. i am looking forward to the end of school (oct!!) when i might have my brain back. and maybe the work will be better.

3. baby. kaiser is huge. and chatty kathy. and fun. running around everywhere. i can not believe i have an 18 mo. old! its weird. but great. except for the blinding exhastion and school imposed joint custody. he is a happy kid, though, and we are lucky that he is so easy breezy.

there have been fun moments here and there, and lots of development on the kaiser side of things, but basically max and i have been working like dogs, and parenting like, well, single parents. i will be done with school in october and max about year later. ooof. i will try to be better abour posting.

my next exciting adventure? seeing lady gaga tomorrow at the house of blues. i am sure i will be the oldest one there.....its a shame i cant find my rhinestone sunglasses.

whoa. seriously.

2008-08-07T21:32:00.001-07:00

so, what. i know its only been like 8 months since my last post. so? what do you want!

things in beantown are lovely. moving right along. fast. work is work, school is coming to a close (one more semester of classes before thesis! YAY!) and the kai is growing at a standard rate. he says mama and dada, but doesnt exactly associate those words with his parents. he says hi, but not on command. he cant waive yet, which is disappointing.

a few days ago, on the t, a man and woman got into a fight. strangers screaming at each other within 2 feet of one another. yeesh. i can imagine stabbing fellow passengers on the train when they 1. sit with their legs extremely far apart and 2. make love to the poles on which everyone must cling to in order to stay upright. but i would never actually stab anyone - crazy canadians!

for kicks a few more pics

2008-01-01T21:12:00.000-08:00

the christ, the baby and impending doom

2008-01-01T20:57:00.000-08:00

first of all, t'was the kaiser's first christmas. i believe he was sleeping, or being fed or held by some family member. that's really what he does best. but, he is much more alert now, so he spends more time awake. during this time, i desperately try to prove how much he loves me by getting him to smile, or giggle. oh, and giggling is new. and i also found out he really likes it when i try to "eat" his feet.

so, more about the baby? well, today we decided on a caregiver, re: second mommy. see, i sort of wish i could stay at home, but i also miss my job a little and we definitely need money(sidenote: apparently, at my office, working 20 hrs a week during your last months of pregnancy and then taking 2 1/2 months off of work = promotion and more money). but, i will honestly say that in a perfect world i would totally stay at home, at least for the first two years. instead, i have found doris, the kid's second mommy. which he will probably love more. but she is super bubbly and sweet and has been child watching for 17 years, has lovely children, etc. i tried to check out day care centers, but they totally sucked and were run by women named gloria who smelled like cigarettes and sadness.

so, i am trying to get myself together so i can go back to work on the 14th. and get back to designing. and crying at my desk.

however, tomorrow is a big day - its shot time. oooh, man. kaiser is so going to hate that. i am going to try really hard not to flip. hopefully, he will forget about this terrible day. but probably not. after all, second mommy never made him get shots.

the important one

2007-12-05T06:45:00.000-08:00

so, its true. i had a child on oct. 19, 2007, at 10:42 in the morning. after approx. 24 hours of labor, i had kaiser via c-section. and let me tell you, he is gonna hear about it for the rest of his life.

however, he is pretty cute. he looks pretty concerned in this photo, however.

and how is parenting, you ask? well, let me just say that at this stage in his life, his needs are pretty simple: eat, sleep, keep clean, keep warm. thankfully, those are standards of living that i can currently accommodate. and its pretty much the happiest i have been in a long time, which is completely weird. but whats not to like? eat, sleep, watch oprah? i can do that. and its really the first time in years that i have really slowed down and had so much personal time. not that its always a breeze - any time he cries or is fussy, it completely stresses me out (dont worry i dont shake the baby). and sometimes it takes a million tries to figure out what is he trying to accomplish with the crying. but he is doing stuff like smiling (big accomplishment) and holding his head up. when i sing him lullabies he ooohs and aaahs right along with me. it kills me. and poor max. because compared to the important one, he is kinda chopped liver right now. but i am sure he thinks the same of me.

october sky

2007-10-08T13:31:00.000-07:00

with the weather being so gray, rainy and cold, it is easy not to feel too motivated to do much other than watch oprah, which is what i do now, since i only work 20 hours a week. and make pumpkin pie like i did last night. i am already gearing up to don the official housewife uniform of a juicy couture sweatsuit. just call me nancy. or maybe gloria (only if i start smoking menthol lights).
i was thinking that i haven't quite come to terms with being a wife, and now i am going to add mother to the list. do you think 'host organism' is as easy to say as mama?
yeah, i thought by now those maternal instincts would kick in - the only instincts i have are to guilt the child for all he has put me through. my mother will be happy to know that i am going to carry on the proud tradition of jewish (s)mothering.
ooh, and i recently purchased a book on parenting. its schtick is all about attachment parenting. oof. because shit like that is now a part of my vocabulary. basically it is all about meeting the child's needs on their terms. um, isn't that parenting in general? apparently, some like to put their new child on a schedule, and will do things such as let them cry when they are hungry because it isn't feeding time yet. the parents make a schedule of feeding, sleeping, etc that is convenient for them. i mean, i may only be 9 months pregnant but that sort of thing already pisses me off. children happen to be a bit inconvenient. that's the problem with having them. but making a child cry for hours doesn't seem to be a great way to aid their development. yeah kids need to be held, a lot, and they need to be fed when they are hungry, and sleep when they are tired. i am sure its going to be exhausting and plenty annoying. but hey, i am the one making the decision to have this kid, right?
and in non baby news....eh. nothing. its pretty much waiting for baby. and thinking about baby. baby. BABY!

so, about that

2007-10-01T13:19:00.001-07:00

so, there he is.

i am only posting this picture, because honestly, it is the first normal looking ultrasound picture that i have.

the first was a blob. the second was skeletor and the others have been just weird, funny images of baby parts.

but this, this kind of looks like a kid. with max's nose, i am afraid.

i should also quietly mention that he is almost 8 pounds. which means he should cease to exist in my abdomen, and really starting living among other humans in the real world. gah. 8 pounds!

the snapping of liederhosen

2007-09-27T13:46:00.000-07:00

tomorrow night is harpoon's oktoberfest. for those non-bostonians out there, it is a party held at harpoon's local brewery, and it is a delightful evening of ridiculously strong and very fresh beer. and hot dogs. and liederhosen.
last year was a mighty wreck of drunkosity. there were men in liederhosen. my friend snapped their liederhosen like they were rubber bands. it was amazing. sadly, will my impending labor and major pregnosity, i don't think i can go. i have been told that through the miracle of technology, i will be sent video of all the highlights throughout the night. i don't know if it will be the same....
have i admitted to my 20 hr work week? yeah, i am only work half days now, with fridays off. this is a luxury i have not experienced in years. and i suppose it might do me well to relax these next couple of days. because soon, and don't think i am not panicking because i am, i will soon have a child that will allow zero relaxation. maybe. all i know is that when my boss came back from his paternity leave (two weeks at home with the new kid) he looked like a mack truck had run over his body a zillion times. oof.
i hope to soon have some non child news. or rather, non child-centric news. because i really don't want to be THAT kind of family, where all we do is talk about the kid. except that is all i do. hm. don't ever hesitate to tell me to shut the hell up.
one more item - the topsfield fair is this weekend. if you think for one moment that i would miss such exciting activities as pig racing, well you are sadly mistaken.

mmm. donut.

2007-09-22T08:17:00.000-07:00

so the baby gestation continues. but i want to make it clear that i want it out. and by "it" i mean my child. really. seriously. get out of my abdomen. i mean, ew. think about it - if it was a 6 pound cat, most people might be horrified/repulsed. but it is a 6 pound (i'm guessing maybe more at this point) human, and apparently, people are just fine with that. i am not one of those people.
additionally, i would like my maternal instincts to kick in at some point. i am guessing when the child is able to be held in my arms and not my abdominal cavity, i will feel more like a mother and less like a kangaroo.
also, the non sugar killing of my child has been going well. i have managed to control all that sugar death with proper diet and medication. which is super - but i do have days, like today, where i totally cave and eat a donut for breakfast. or two donuts. in addition to last night's mini glass of wine, i am clearly an unfit mother/kangaroo. but that sugar craving usually subsides and i go back to broccoli. mmm broccoli!
speaking of last night, dinner was amazing. boston may be the red-headed stepchild to new york and its night life may end at 12:30 am, but we have some amazing restaurants. such as the beehive, which is quite lovely and all the rage at the moment. however, i had a major cheapo experience and i cant figure out if i have a problem or not. i love going out to more chi-chi places, but since when is 54 dollars for a bottle of wine considered to be moderately priced? have i missed something? do i need to start robbing more banks? clearly i am a giant cheapskate.

maine

2007-09-02T18:54:00.001-07:00

so, today, for fun, we went to maine.
i sometimes forget that i live ridiculous close to very small states. and maine is no exception. perfectly lovely and delightful.
portland, if one could guess, is a semi-touristy port town. people eat lobstah and can buy gorgeous jeweltry/furniture/artwork. there are many cute dogs. the weather was exceptional, as was the company. my delightful friend anna and her boy were camping near the area, so we met up, wandered around, ate lunch, and wandered around some more. and what is even better is that tomorrow is an additional day of freedom. fabulous.
max and i also finished 'eat your vegetables' kind of movie - that is, we watched a good movie that also happened to be good for us. its called Reds and it involved warren beatty and diane keaton. it was apparently nominated for 13 academy awards...in 1981. but, really it was quite good and regarded the bolshevik revolution. who wouldnt want to watch a movie about that!
tomorrow will be endless relaxation, or insane cleaning caused by my nesting insticts. i think the walls will probably get washed sometime before midnight.....

spin spin sugar

2007-08-31T14:10:00.000-07:00

yeah, so apparently this little alien is causing my body to not properly deal with sugar.

what a bummer.

not only does this include pricking my finger 4-6 times a day to check my glucose levels, but it also involves taking a drug called glyburide - which is sort of new, and of course, seems to be ok for pregnant women in their second and third trimester only. awesome. but the health risks to the child, should i not watch my diet, check my glucose and take meds is a bit scary (meaning fat baby, c-section baby, addicted to sugar baby, etc). happy to do the right thing. i never knew i would like diet, caffeine free coke so much. ah, can of chemicals, you light up my life.

otherwise all is well. har. really, there is very little left to go, so i dont feel completely panicked or totally freaked out. i am, however, having to switch doctors - see, my lovely 13 year old (as max calls her) family practice doctor is still a resident. cool, but when you are killing your child with sugar, they like a real ob/gyn to consult. well, new man doctor had a bit less bedside manner, but seems entirely efficient and capable. he also basically said he was taking over, was going too see me every week, etc. super. so bye doogie howser, hello mr. sassy man doctor. ah, HMO's. but, i should mention for a moment how grateful i am for insurance. cah-rist! once appt. cost nearly 1,500 dollars! ack! and my lovely insurance covers all pre-natal care. craziness. i mean, we are talking thousands of dollars here. i appreciate why it is all so expensive, but what a burden all around! the US should become a much more fascist country and limit how many children can be born a year. i mean, seriously people.

but other than being a baby killer, i feel pretty good. now, i am getting slightly huge. max likes to affectionately sing the babar theme song. yes, babar is an elephant. max is a really wonderful, supportive husband. who i will surely murder once this child is out of me. but really, it must be a bizarre sight, to see that your partner looks like she swallowed a basketball. but he is a lucky guy. and he happens to rub my feet every night, so i suppose i can forgive the babar sing a long.

futon

2007-07-12T07:39:00.000-07:00

so, i beginning to think i am more horrible than i thought.
we are getting rid of our futon, which feels like an accomplishment, like "hey, we have been out of undergrad for three years! time to get rid of the futon....". and just now, i realized it's been more like five. har.
so, anway, i put this futon on craigslist, and i have received some replies. except, i am totally judging people by their names. if it sounds sketchy, then i just delete. how can a name sound sketchy, you ask?
have you ever received a spam email that involved some king from some weird part of the world who needs somebody to deposit like a million dollars in some bank account, and you, as the depositer would receive a 10% cut, or something ridiculous. yeah, names like that. made up names. am i supposed to give this person my address?
also, i am totally not budging from my original asking price.
sometimes, you just cant take the michigan outta the girl. or the jew. you decide.

freedom fries

2007-07-05T18:16:00.000-07:00

so, the fourth was celebrated by going to max's work on our day off and working on school work.
can our lives get anymore exciting?!

also, do you see the gloriousness of the wallter hex wall applications? i hope you do. because the theme of the kidlet's decor is the delightful fuzzy bee, i thought it would be a nice touch to add some modern geometric shapes to balance. imagine if you will, a very barely yellow, with white trim. on one wall facing the door, either white or brown hex shapes will greet you, in some similar pattern to the picture. probably white. so amazing! ah! cute without being horrible! i know some parents might decorate their new kidlet room with lots of cutesy cartoony animals. not me, sister. the only cute fuzziness is the bedding. the rest shall be modern and clean. and honestly, the kid wont really know what is going on for some time.

my mother in law also already sent some exciting gifts, and i have to add, she sent me the most coveted item on my registry. the chicken head hat. oh god, it is amazing. if anything good comes out of this whole reproducing thing, it will be that i can dress it however i choose. and that means chicken head hats.

home, parenthesis.

2007-06-27T18:50:00.001-07:00

so, nearing thirty (ok, in like three years), i have to wonder if i am on the 'right' track or not. is my apartment 'adult' enough (and not in the dirty way). is there are certain level one achieves at thirty? and how is this level determined? have i missed my window of opportunity to be a fully functional adult with savings and bonds and a 401k (well i have the 401k - thanks work!)?
i suppose i have a career (weird), i am married (weird), about to have a kid (weird). hm. i have to admit, i never really equated those things with adulthood. having money maybe. and a house. ha. those material goods are far away, i think. max sometimes asks me if i regret not marrying rich. i tell him every single day of my life. kidding. really. maybe.
eh, if there is some specific level, i am probably not there. which is ok. i have everything i really need, and then some. a savings account would be nice.
as a side note, i hate paris hilton alot.

2007-06-25T17:37:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so, like, that is totally what I wanted to do today. Apparently I have been sleeping on my neck in the completely wrong way, because I cant seem to move my head in any way.

Additionally, we finalized the plans for the baby shower invites - and let me say, these might be the fanciest invites i have ever, ever had. my friend anna, who has amazing taste, is the creator of these jems. i cant wait to send them out. modern and gorgeous, with bees (the inspiration for today's image). have i mentioned the theme of the kaiser roll is bees? have i mentioned we are going to name the kid kaiser cross sklar? yeah, there are many opinions of that. however, we were trying to think of something that relates to our families, and i was remarking on how i like max's fathers name. kaiser sklar it is. we will probably call him kai most of the time. or kaiser roll. i haven't decided.

sometimes i boil max's blood. i have this amazing knack for waking him up at the wrong time, specifically when he is late. apparently, i wake him up at the precise moment where it is too late to fix it. like, if he has a meeting at 8:30, i will usually wake him up at 8:35. i don't do this on purpose, i swear.

in a garden

2007-06-18T18:05:00.000-07:00

so, after a rousing weekend of baroque music, i am able to return to my homebody ways.
a recent shopping trip to crate and barrel introduced me to the new line of dessert mixes by ina 'two pounds of butter' garten. i, of course, had to try the chocolate cupcakes.

oh god. i am happily bringing them to the office so i may not gain 5 more non-baby pounds.

while, i don't really feel its very responsible to blog about work, i do have to admit that there are a few characters there that i just cant wrap my head around. i like to think of myself as a pretty likable and easy-going person, but some personalities rub me the wrong way - namely super uptight, asshole personalities. seriously. there is no place for that in my life. i am far to old to tolerate the kind of person who, when i smile at them in the hallway, refuses to acknowledge my existence. additionally, people don't have to speak to others with the harshest tone possible. last i checked, it was completely unnecessary.

really though, the weekend was lovely. it felt good to see some well performed music - it made me miss it a little. and of course, amanda is a delightful house guest, though i still feel bad that my cats are unable to detect the fact that she is allergic to them. in fact, they giver her more attention than anyone! they also don't understand that amanda's lap is far smaller than the lap of max or myself. i was also able to check out Boston's new modern art museum, which is gorgeous - very minimalist. beautiful work.

but now, i am totally worn out.
ciao!

yeah.....

2007-06-15T14:44:00.000-07:00

i don't have any excuse, really.
but i have been a very bad blogger. perhaps in an effort to document the continuation of what i am calling 'alyson as host organism', i will post more. but who wants to read a blog about a preggo?

things are moving along nicely. i hate to admit that i am proud of the fact that the unborn is growing at a perfect rate and seems to have all requirements of a perfect human form. the heart has all of its valves. there are two kidneys. what more can we ask for?

i am also grappling with the fact that is it boy child. a boy. i really, really, really thought it was going to be a girl. but i am apparently giving max a proper son to inherit the kingdom. christ. it is sooo going to be a mini-max.

in other news, life is moving at a rapid clip. work is busy for the both of us. school has ended for me, thank god, but max is beginning the semester - summer classes. i cant even deal. but he is anxious to finish, which i understand. i am still trying to keep myself under the impression that i will be taking classes in the fall.

hilarity.

wow, um wow.

2006-11-22T06:42:00.000-08:00

so, has it really been since august! my god, max and i are terrible bloggers. i bring no joy to anyone in the blogosphere. i think my friend robert is amazing. he not only writes hilariously, but every day to boot. sigh.
but i am writing because this is one of the first days i have had off since, well, august! i took an extra day for the thanks, and it will entail lots of laundry, dishes and packing. i am headed to DC where max's sister and father live. It will be lovely and capitol-esque.
the work. hm. the work has been good, just very busy. i am still on the retail end of things, but lately i have been a part of a design protoype for a large company that sells children's shoes. there have been plan diagrams by hand and using illustrator (my new favorite program - all of the pantone colors!), concept and image research, interviews with kids, and indesign books for presentations. its been very different and pretty thrilling. i actually felt somewhat like an interior designer, as opposed to space planner. i was mostly assisting a lead designer at work, who i must say has an impeccable eye and knows exactly what she wants. it was actually pretty thrilling to work with someone who not only understands construction but has a really creative approach and amazing design technique. i have also begun some corporate interiors work, which isnt the most creative, but still is something new and something i have never done before.
so yeah, life in a nutshell. things have been pleasantly busy and fun - a halloween extravaganza (dragqueen cabaret singer - because i think when i go over the top with makeup, etc, i actually look more like a man than any drag queen) visits from dear, dear friends and family, whom i adore, and lots of work related drinking.
truly, will try to write more. sheesh.
smooches!

Let Us Simultaneously Stop to Read

2006-08-22T15:19:00.000-07:00

I greet thee.

I have but one serious hobby that takes an appreciable portion of my time in addition to my job and job-related stuff and household stuff. I bring it up because it is one of the few things in my life that supplies what could rightfully be described as "news." Here goes: The improvised Shakespeare play I'm in closes September 1st after a two-month run. It has been the closest I have ever come to genuinely acting. The people I'm around toss off stories of various Shakespeare productions and Noel Coward (sp?) plays and so forth. I really, I -- I just don't have much to say. I'm not an actor and I some how wound up acting. I feel like a total poser. But, in a larger sense, is it not better to pose every once-in-a-while than to never pose at all? I say yes. It has been fun though, way weird, but fun.
Further, I'll be doing two brief performances at book readings next month (along with many others) to hype a book written by the head writer at Improv Boston. I have never performed at a book reading. Few, I believe have. I tells ya, it takes a truckload of marketing to get a book to sell (or so HarperCollins seems to believe). Apparently, you can't just thrust it on a shelf; that would be absolutely nuts. I had no idea.
My Family Show schedule continues uninterrupted. We had a real strong performance two weeks back, strongest yet, in fact (in my opinion, of course). There was great implicit communication on stage which feels really sweet, all telepathic and so forth. That was the primary reason why the show was a success. I'm sure jazz clarinetists will scoff mightily at this, but I think I probably feel the same way as jazz musicians when that happens: we all move in the same unspoken direction for the benefit of this truly odd ontological entity called the "show." I do suspect a similar feeling can be found in many other places, but I can think of no other examples from my personal life right now.

Quick summary of the television series 30 Days: "What happens when we take a man who is prejudiced against Dutch people and put him in a small room filled with Dutch people? Find out on the next 30 Days."

Last, I have played a truly excellent prank at my workplace which I will now share for the betterment of mankind: I took a printout of a brief article some writer wrote for CareerBuilder.com entitled "10 Tips on Coping with a Job You Hate" and posted it on the shared bulletin board in my office. The board is prominently displayed, but people rarely use it, so my little flyer really had the potential to catch the eye. Tell me that is not the picture of hilarity. Write to me and tell me that right now. You can't.
However, despite all the heaping mounds of comedic potential in that prank, only one person has thus far commented upon it (it was my boss, and I was standing there when he saw it, and he immediately asked me if I had put it there, which I had; I explained my motivation and he chuckled briefly). The people at my workplace really seem to display a laser-like focus on the task at hand. I'll have to stop being so subtle.

Keep "it" real,
Max

red balloons

2006-08-01T16:07:00.000-07:00

additionally, max informed me last night, that:

1. he has to agree with me in that america may not be the place we live, you know, like forever.
2. he has decided against my ideas of paris and perhaps florence, but has chosen BERLIN!

which of course reminds me of those hilarious cartoons in my german class that said things like,
ich ein berliner. or something. because, honestly, i dont remember much german. which, i suppose i should regret!

so, if and when we graduate, and then somehow snag jobs at international architecture firms in new york, we will then move to berlin and have children or own weiner dogs. or weimeraimers.

yeah.

sklown

2006-08-01T07:59:00.000-07:00

just came back from a great weekend in nyc - dear god - i forget how much i miss these people until i see them!
unfortunately, i came home with some tummy troubles, so i took today off as well. lots of water, lots of rest, and a potential doctor visit. bleh. i liked being sick as a child (lots of magazines, coloring books, attention from mom), but as an adult, it just kind of sucks. seriously.
anyway.....
back to nyc. it was great - saw important places of opera, the met museum of art, movies, and a few fabulous bars and restaurants. mostly importantly, it was just alot of hangout time with robert and amanda. of which i was in dire need. dont get me wrong, boston is great, and i love my boston people. but these particular gems are seriously dear friends who have seen me at my best and worst. and everyone is doing well! sure, there are things we might change here and there, but essentally, everyone is great. additionally, i was reminded my my list of possible last names, before max and i married. and its still true that sklown is by far, the worst last name a person could ever have.
its fun to see how our lives are playing out. and for whatever reason, i now feel a bit more at ease about a few things, more importantly the new career path i have taken. i have felt some guilt about it, but everyone was happy for me and interested to hear about it. especially when i spouted of unwanted historical facts about perspective. that must have been awesome. i think i have been spending too much time with encylodpedia maxica.
so, i am going to head back to the couch. more soon.

Who Are You? What Are You Doing?

2006-07-11T15:10:00.000-07:00

Blog, right…. Bloggity blog blog. Been a while, I know, I know. Mea Culpa. I swear again that I shall change my ways. Can't have people losing interest, don't you know.

First, a brief rebuttal: Alyson is quite correct in stating that the kitchen floor is taking an absurd period of time. However, she is just a weency bit off-base in attributing the delay to my lack of sense of urgency. Yeah, I admit that that's a big ol' part of it, but there is also the fact that the job is huge and Alyson refuses to use power tools. (And the job is huge, be there no mistake. We'll post pictures when it's over, 2009 [proj.]).

Further, it occurs to me that I never really explained at all what the hell it is I do with my time when I'm officin'. I've mentioned that I do architecture and I shall now expound. I'm not technically an 'architect' yet because I have no degree and thus haven't been able to take the licensing exam (each state offers its own one of those but they're pretty standard). You have to do these things before you can legally call yourself an architect in a business context. However, it isn't quite like being a doctor or lawyer, since people who aren't architects are totally permitted to draw up construction documents (what we once called 'blueprints') and hand them off to someone who is an architect who then takes all the credit for them without necessarily changing a damn thing. (Really, the American Institute of Architects specifically condones this.) Thus, many people who for all the world appear to be architects (designing, as they do, buildings) are technically not permitted to use that title. They are 'architectural assistants' or 'members of the architectural staff' or some such. In fact, because only the head honcho of any given firm has to have a license, there is surprisingly little motivation for many 'architectural assistants' to get the real title, preferring instead to do their thing under someone else's authority.
The preceding is not meant to imply that there is, in fact, no motivation to get the real title; it's typically prerequisite to ascending to a high position in most large firms because of the prestige associated with it (firms are often ranked by the number of licensed architects they have on staff, in addition to total size).
So I don't have a license, but I do architectural stuff. I'm still pretty junior, so most of the actual design decisions aren't made by me. For example, I spend a lot of my time looking at simple hand sketches that my boss has made and drafting them into construction documents or presentation materials. This is common for people like me.
This all may not sound like much, but I assure you, I am deliriously happy to have this job. I'm not cut out for the world of 'business,' entailing, as it does, so much interaction with coworkers about strange and arbitrary matters that no one would have understood five years ago nor will in another five. I'm not knocking it, it's essential stuff, and there's astounding money in it, but it is not for me. At my current job, I have a task, and it is a worthy and honest task that requires a great deal of highly-specific skill. I discuss the task with coworkers, but not at great length. Then I just sit there and do the task and eventually it's done (I can tell that it's done because I am able to look at it). Verily, this is my preferred method of working, and it was quite hard for me to find.
I think work is like this for scientists and engineers too (I would love to have a job in one of those fields, or would, if not for the fact that I profoundly hate doing science and engineering).
I would be remiss if I failed to mention that, in addition to the preceding, architecture is cool.

When I'm not doing that or the floor (or something that no one reading this could possibly care about, such as watching TV or staring off into space silently) I'm doin' my theater group. I've ramped up my involvement with the ol' IB (as we call it [minus the 'ol'" part]) since school got out. For example, I'm in the limited engagement "Robert Cycle" which opened last week. You can check it out online (improvboston.com). It's an improvised fake Shakespearian play. It's exactly what it sounds like and I forgive you if assume offhand that it's a bad idea.

But enough about me. I believe that Google is quite significant (I see that Microsoft still refuses to acknowledge that spelling of the word; tee-hee). This statement itself is not profound; many have said it before me. But have these people also mentioned how, if one can remember the Internet before Google, no search engine actually worked? Yahoo, Lycos, AltaVista, HotBot and the rest were keyword searches, like a library database. If you searched for "Pancake Recipe" you wouldn't necessarily get a page with a pancake recipe on it. Instead, you would probably get a page wherein some schmuck writing about his trip to Buffalo just happened to use the phrase "pancake recipe" over and over. This meant that you weren't necessarily going to find what you were looking for, even if you knew exactly what it was. If the website for a company wasn't the company name or some obvious variation, you'd have to look on paper or ask somebody or follow pages of links (once a very popular institution). Google made the Internet actually work when never really had, for that, I believe they deserve their place in popular culture. All hail Google, and its glorious new regime.

So says I,
Max

the boring

2006-06-03T14:05:00.000-07:00

since the end of school, life has been a bit more relaxed. my day involves the following, except when i work those pesky 62 hour weeks --

work, come home from work, play tennis, do laundry, eat dinner, watch tivo. but we are also re-doing our kitchen, which we started in january and havent really finished yet. and that makes me feel kind of crazy. the kind of crazy that makes me naggy mcnaggerstons. which makes the macs, as i shall now spell his name, not as happy. but macs doesnt always have the same sense of urgency that i do. which makes activities like redecoration happen in a painful way. i dont understand how those jackasses on home and garden tv redo an entire neighborhood in a weekend. i just dont get it.

work, as mentioned previously, has been great. except for the 62 hours part. alot of nail-biting responsibility, which also is great, except, i have a tendency to totally freak out in my head about everything. i feel a deep sense of personal responsibility at my job and that doesnt always jive with my ever growing obsessive compulsive personality. when did i get so high strung? have i always been this way and never known? i wish someone had said something. but my co-workers and i were treated to a "lets leave work early on friday and drink, drink, drink to our amazing ability to do amazing architectural things" shin-dig. yeah, cool, except it was a total drink-off. and while those can be fun, leaving a bar you dont really know the name of, calling various people 12 times and demanding where they were (as if that would help), managing to wander to the right subway station to then fall asleep on the subway and stumble the two-blocks home from the last stop is not my idea of a good time. dont get me wrong, it was an absolutley hilarious evening. it's just that the next day is not how i ever want to spend a saturday ever again. oof.

so simply recovering this weekend, curling up from the rain with two exciting netflix's and two sleepy cats.

Birthday Post

2006-05-13T21:34:00.000-07:00

Okay, so like, school is over for the semester. This is cool; I was running out of the ol’ fuel a bit near the end there. Really time-consuming, it was. I had to spend as much free time as possible on the studio work because other students would, and, while school studio is not a competition, one does face yardsticks, don’t you know. I feel that I did: okay. I don’t have any grades yet; we shall soon see. I did effectively neglect the living heck outta my other two courses, but I am at peace with that. Studio just matters more.

In studio, for those who are not architects nor artists, one creates pictures and models, (which can take for-freaking-ever to do right). Now, if’n ya become an actual architect, alla those pictures and models, while they may land you a client or two, won’t amount to jack crap in the end, bein’ as yer actual building are what matters. Oh sure, ya gotta know how to model and picture-make, no one is saying ya don’t, but I must say I am feelin’ a slight-bit bitter about the whole premise of studio class at this point, favorin’, as it seems to, these pictures and models, which are basically just flash, over, you know, substance. And what the heck do I mean, “at this point.” I guess I’ve felt that way for a while; but at least now I’m nice and crushed and I don’t fight anymore and I just go for the darn flash. But I have respite now that the semester is over, which is, as the kids say, good.

People tend to ask how much longer I got to go in this here architecture program I’m enrolled in, once I start jawin’ about it as I was up there. It’s an unpleasant question, because the answer depends on whether I can manage to not screw up this studio stuff. I like to think I can, but quoting a low number in anticipation of this not-screwing up feels a bit like counting chickens, if you know what I mean.

Improv’s cool. Nice audiences, but I’m still not convinced kiddies are right for me.

The job as been cool also. Nice, tiny office, filled with dudes who don’t care at all about the latest corporate management craze. Like, not at all. No one looks over my shoulder to ensure I haven’t become distracted or calls me to the corner conference room for a ‘chat’ about my being five minutes late. I can’t stand all that crap. Fact is, in my current office, we don’t do ‘business’ there, just architecture, which is so damn sweet I can hardly tell you. I’m not sure I had to nerve to admit it to myself, but I REALLY did no enjoy doing ‘business’: maximizing profits, streamlining processes, checking boxes on the local intranet with amazingly non-user-friendly software. I’m not knocking all that, it’s just not my ‘thing.’ I’ve always said that’s the swell part about associating oneself with a profession: you get to do something, not just assist, in some distant and arcane way, others who are doing things. You turn the cranks of civilization; you don’t compile numbers describing a group of people who are turning those cranks. This is an incomplete analysis, I admit this. People in the offices we’re designing will, after all, be doing things in these offices. Thus, the offices are, in no meaningful wise, an end-product, as they, like a checked box on a local company intranet, assist others in doing something. But this doesn’t really defeat the whole crank-analogy, or so I claim, because there’s no firm dedicated to checking intranet boxes, no person who makes a living doing only that, no body of knowledge that pertains only to it. So it is with most of the jobs out there, but not mine, not anymore. This matters a fair amount to me, I must say. Which is not to say it should matter a lot to everyone, of course. This is just me. So I’m not insulting you. In case you feel insulted.

I was just listening to a little James Blunt. Man, that’s one sensitive guy. Any more sensitive and passers-by will be burned as he proceeds along the street.

You know, facing buildings in brick and stone, when of course they’re made of steel, is pretty ham-fisted. Now, I’m not saying you necessarily have to make ‘em all Modernist, with steel and glass only, but for cripes sake, facing with brick because old buildings were actually made of brick and you want to look like old buildings, well, that’s just one big steaming pile.

And I still don’t get Frank Gehry. Seriously, I’ve tried, but I don’t get those Dr. Seuss things he makes. I might be missing something; I dunno.

Also, it is my birthday. Woot.

May No One bless and keep you,

Max

so thats what 53 hours feels like

2006-05-09T19:38:00.000-07:00

yeah. it's been very busy. work has been pretty intense, but again, very gratifying. some drawings that are being sent to contractors and the like, to be, you know, built, have my name on them. as in, i drew them. and some schmo' is going to use them to build something.
what?
so it has been a bit surreal -- not to mention thanking my lucky stars i am not salaried. because i love me some time and a half. but that is enought about the work. its good. i am tired.
school, as of this evening, is over. so i can have my weekends back. enjoy my life. sleep in. cook food. i can not wait. the completion of the kitchen is shortly upon the sklar-brown household, especially since my landlord ok'ed the new flooring. love it when my nice russian landlord helps out. it makes me feel less like a plain old renter, and more like a renter who has a place that is more like home.
the max has also been busy. he has this studio space now where he builds models and thinks about buildings. not particularly in that order.
as you can tell from my picture, i am becoming fascinated with interior finishes from 3m. this money plant suspended in plexiglass is my favorite. i can image some amazing kitchen cupboards made out of it....

wife

2006-04-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

max likes to be cute and call me wife.
and then i punch him in the face. no, not really, but i probably punch him on the arm. but he totally started it.
as you can tell, from our return from the dead, that things are well in the sklar-brown household. i wont try to imitate max's delightful prose, but i think, dear readers, you can all tell that joy has been restored!
it has been a busy week at the work -- there are many stores going out this week, so many drawing sets are being created, red-lined, and redrawn. but it is very fast paced and very exciting. i hate to admit, but i worked from 7am - 11 pm. but it was great. isnt that disgusting? i think its hideous that i could enjoy my job this much, but i do. i have this great project manager who has been an amazing guide; always answering my silly and not so silly questions with endless patience and humor. working for her is a piece of cake, and i know putting in the long hours eases her stress. so when did i become this capitalist workhorse?
one of the other project managers in my pc (profit center) is a classical musician on the side -- it has motivated me to get back into this business we call show. i miss it. finally. so auditions will be coming up in the fall and i will be there. it means i will take a class or so less, but maybe i can do both....

Blog? What blog? ... Oh shoot, the blog!

2006-04-19T19:37:00.000-07:00

Dearest readers,

I beg your forgiveness for the unforgivable absence this blogger and his wife* have spent from this blog. Alyson still cannot bring herself to speak to me of her ordeal, but the fact is, and it pains me to type these words, I was held hostage in a secret camp run by anti-American activists in rural Montana for the past several months. I wrote blog-post after blog-post (they got progressively more bitter as the US government persisted in its refusal to launch any rescue effort characterized by even a superficial chance of success). Unfortunately, the young indigenous Montanan with whom I entrusted these cherished missives had been scanning them from the homemade papyrus on which I composed them to an inferior iPod which corrupted the data on the long trek back to civilization.

What I just wrote might be true. It is also possible that I just didn’t feel up to it. Which is lame. Sorry. I was just in this weird psychological state wherein I didn’t feel I could reasonably post anything because I had more schoolwork to do. This feeling persisted even when I had just done a lot of schoolwork; there was always more, see. And even in those moments when I admitted to myself that I wasn’t going to do anymore schoolwork, that I was just going to vegetate for a period of time, I couldn’t manage any further creative effort to blog. The preceding discussion is no excuse; I admit that. Perhaps, however, it is an explanation. It is not a good explanation; I admit that….

Anyhoo, I’m more comfy with school now; that’s the point. I’ve hit a bit of a groove. So maybe I can turn things around a bit. (I wasn’t just not blogging, I was also not doing laundry or eating right or anything like that. Serious though, turning around; no more eyeball-trembling obsession with schoolwork.)

Regardless, on to the blogging. First, this news: my significant other has a good job! (She’s had this since, I think, late February, but don’t quote me on that.) I’ve entirely proud of her. She works now for Bergmeyer Architects, a totally well-established and successful Boston architecture firm. She’s pretty high up the ladder already. Spends her time drafting, she does.

She has wanted this for quite some time and has deserved it for an equal period of time, and now she has it, which is just. I now at peace with this portion of the cosmos.

“But Max,” you say, “we don’t care at all about your wife!* Tell us about you!” How can I deny such a request?

Employment: To begin, I got laid-off from my job at Maugel, which sucked. But then, it only makes sense, considering that they had no work for me to do. In retrospect, the whole story does track pretty well: they hired me to do some work, but when I arrived there was no work, so they laid me off. I was there about five months and I spent a lot of that time engaged in none-too-productive labor, such as staring. It’s best, I suppose, for me not to be bitter. Yes, I could grumble under my breath about how they kept a few employees with personal / familial connections to the company higher-ups who were not, I could continue, the sharpest leads in the tin. I could grumble about how the really should have crunched a few numbers before bringing me on board, just to see if it made any sense to do so. I could grumble about how they maybe could have considered advertising their service so as to get some, oh, what’s the word?… ”Revenue.” But I will not grumble about these things. No, in all seriousness, it was cool of them to give me a shot when the ol’ resume was a bit weak, and I can’t rightly begrudge them for doing that, even though they did drop me like a sack of flax when the till got empty. I am a capitalist sympathizer; I must suck it up, as it were.

Regardless, I was hoping I would bounce back quickly when I lost that job. (I figured that having a bit of experience in the field should make the job search much easier.) But, when it came to bouncing back quickly, I, oh, what’s the word?…”Didn’t.” No, I did not bounce back quickly. If the experience on the resume did make the search easier, it’s a sobering thought. I went on six interviews (nine if you count phone-only and call-backs) and sent countless resumes, all over the course of about five months before I managed to get back in the field. Man, what is wrong with every hiring manager in the region that they can’t immediately see how great I am? Well, I did eventually get back in the field, which is really nice (SOMEONE at least knows a good thing when he sees it). I only learned of this recently, in fact. I start next week. It will be nice to get out of this financial services industry, wherein I was biding my time on three temp assignments, one much longer than the others. This field isn’t for me, but golly gosh it was easy for me to find work in financial services. (Curse this robust sector of the economy and it inexorable job creation!)

The dude I’m going to be working for is way unpretentious, which is weird considering that almost all architects are pretentious. Too pretentious, incidentally, to hire good business managers to help them run their practices, which may help explain why these firms are always falling on such hard times (high sensitivity to overall economic performance my foot!). But I’m not bitter. Anyhow, this guy isn’t pretentious. He seems pretty good at the architecting though. (Odd, I see that ‘architecting’ is in the Microsoft Encarta…. The man who writes the American Heritage Dictionary hates the Microsoft Encarta; I know this.)

Truth be told, I think I simply had some really crummy luck in this job search. One guy I think I was slated to replace decided to stay on, one hiring manager got overruled by his partners and changed the job description a lot, a third guy said he could hire someone like me “six months from now or six months ago” just not now. Sigh. I’m not saying it isn’t my fault. Maybe my resume is one solid piece of inkjet-printed crap. Maybe I’ve been coming off as arrogant, dismissive, and physically unattractive in all my interviews; there’s no way to be sure. But I still think I hit some bad luck. But it’s finally over. Which is a huge weight off the proverbial shoulders. I hope I like the new job. It will be very bad if I hate it. Or if the architect asks me to perform financial services the whole time. But I don’t think he will.

Ah, isn’t white collar work a funny thing. I’m well into adulthood now, but I haven’t been working a good, old-fashioned, cube-y job for much more than a year. At first, I sort of thrived on the novelty of it; I was putting papers in their exact right place in a desk organizer, ordering the exact right supplies for the job, putting up little informative posters in the file room, that sort of thing. I was outside of that world for so long, waiting for the time when I would go in as planned, that I had time to concoct an elaborate picture of what it would be like. The mere fact that I was in, that I sat in a cube with my name on it all day, got me happily through my days at my first cube-y job, even though that job was crummy by most standards. (Actually, it only got me through approximately four months of that job; the contempt really started to sink in after that.) Still though, that picture had a profound force. And, apparently, it involved a lot of paper and paper accessories. It’s tough to ponder an archetypal “office” without folders and paperclips and such. Yet, the real meat and potatoes of cube-y work does not, these days, involve much paper, and a bit of romance is lost in that. Yet we must never fight this loss. I was told every day growing up: “Only a fool fights computers, son. That is a fight from which one can in no wise emerge victorious.”

Moving on, Improv is still cool and I still don’t get to do it as much as I would like.

The Family Show is strong and professional. We are playing to full houses these days. Our director doesn’t seem the least bit surprised by it, acts like this audience accrual was a matter of course. Me, on the other hand, I’m surprised. This show only started about a year ago and the 6PM timeslot was poison (6PM comedy timeslots are always poison). It feels like yesterday we were playing to five distracted kids and two sour guardians. But we pack ‘em in now; we are proud. I’m not sure how much I personally had to do with it, but I am proud also.

I’ve learned a lot about architecture since I started architecture school. I know that’s the point, but I’m surprised anyway. I didn’t think I would; I just joined up for the title. I even learned a lot about how to design. I didn’t that could be taught. It can be. I picked out a fashionable watch not long ago; I could never have done that before architecture school. ‘Design’ is like that, you see, cross-applicable (not that I like the word ‘design,’ mind you).

The bottom line is that I see now what a clueless jerk I was coming in. Very important.

So there, hoped you liked that huge mass of words. I swear I intend to update this thing regular-like from now on. No more 10 month hiatus, I swear.

May the stones upon your paths be forever snug against the earth,

Max

*wife wife wife

a very long absence

2006-04-02T15:36:00.000-07:00

well, as it turns out, max and i are still alive. and i cant really blame anyone but myself for not posting. i am very jealous of my friend robert, who is amazing at not only being hilarious everyday, but actually posting something hilarious everyday.

but things have been exceptionally busy. there has been some kitchen renovation (still in the works) some new job overtime (talk more about that in a minute) and lots of school. this is actually the first sunday in some time that i have a moment to relax and try to sum up my life in a few semi-interesting paragraphs. i am also trying to write a paper on the signifigance of solitude in the Arnold Aboretum, but you probably dont want to hear about that (trust me).

so the new job. well, its pretty amazing in everyway. i finally managed to score a job in architecture/interior design. technically i am considered a drafter/desginer, but really i am mostly drafting for 8 hours a day, on a computer, and i am mostly drafting interior elevations at that. i am working in their retail division, which is very past paced -- lots of overtime if i want it, lots of crazy deadlines. april and may are evidently going to be quite a ride. my co-workers are talented and smart and extremely proficient at what they do. its quite intimidating and i keep imagining that someday they will find me out. but i am learning an immense amount of information on various architectural details, autocad, design solutions and what exactly the process of design to construction is like. like i said, its intense.

school is for suckers, and it has been hard to stay motivated and interested, epecially when i am learning so much at work. but summer is coming, my portfolio review is coming so there is plently to think about. i am very excited for summer. there will be time to craft, time to visit friends, time to enjoy boston. and for once, i imagine i will be able to feel settled in where i am. boston is more home to me now, more than it ever has been, more than other places have felt.

i am definitely ready for the lazy, lemonade sipping, porch dwelling.

more soon. really.

baking

2005-10-08T13:24:00.000-07:00

today is the first day in a long, long while that i have some time to actually post, albeit a post on nothing.

life has consisted of work, school and sleep. more work and school than sleeping, but what can an aspiring singer/designer do?

i have begun voice lessons again, which is great. my teacher is excellent in every way -- and i must admit she is eager to get me "out there". she also makes statements like, "well if you are going to make money as a singer...." which sort of makes me freak out. make money as a singer? what? me? so, i will see where this is heading. last week i did right by christ and sang in one of boston's oldest churches, old south church. sam adams was one of its leaders, for example. O-L-D. it was certainly nice to be in front of people again, even if it was for jesus. i will take the jobs where i can get them, people.

my real job is going well and has certainly improved since the new girl started. things like responsibility and confidence have improved. there is also another person to be yelled at. that i like.

last night i watched empire of the sun, or something like that. think china during world war II. sad british colonialists. can i really feel sad for them? not really. and, while i love christian bale, his acted palette has not changed since he was 12. it is kind of weird.

so before everyone is asleep i shall sign off. perhaps the max will provide us with some entertaining fodder. i know he has been dying to talk about his feelings regarding the south.

smooches
a

My God, So Much Just Happened (Not)

2005-08-31T10:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, Blog… Bloggity bloggity blog blog blog…

Well, let’s see, this particular update is going to be somewhat brief and boring since nothing whatever of note has happened to me since I last posted.

However, two things will soon happen: First, I’ll have my first show with ImprovBoston. So, there’s that. Improv…. I suspect it will go well, though I further suspect that the crowd is going to be way small, what with the Labor Day weekend raging as it will be. Our director has privately told me that he suspects the same, so the odds of moose shooting are pretty darn good. But I’ll be playing some banjo, so that more than makes up for it. Second, I’ll be starting school. So… there’s that as well… I believe it will most likely go well. I am especially looking forward to one anticipated characteristic of my upcoming schedule: It’s academic this time around, which is to say grades will be determined on the basis of papers, tests, and quizzes, as opposed to being studio-based again, which would be to say that grades would be determined on the basis of ones willingness to draw parallel lines on an $11 piece of notebook paper for 80 to 100 hours per week (not that I have any problem with the studio grading system).
What I don’t think is that I’ll have zero time. Yes, the schoolwork will be heavy, but not so heavy that all other aspects of my life will be wholly crowded out. Academic stuff can be done (comparatively) quickly. I’ve been noticing that some folks at the BAC speak at length, often taking every opportunity, to talk about just how little spare time they have. For example, I had a class opposite the “Long Studio” (an optional course that submits an entry to a difficult national competition, very demanding). I overheard them talk many times, and, I state without exaggeration, more than half of what they said to each other was some permutation of “Man, taking this course sure has left me with very little free time.” I’ve lost patience for this behavior. I am reminded of a favorite expression of my father, one I believe he termed Cross’s First Law: “One chooses his own afflictions.” You’re burdened with little free time? Oh, poor baby. Well, guess what? You brought it on yourself. You decided to pursue this career and to attend this school. If the burden is too heavy, you’re free to quit. Talking about how little free time you have because of this burden is either boastful or plaintive, depending on whether you consider having no free time to be a virtue (which, in my humble opinion, it sure as hell isn’t). Either way, such talk is a tremendous waste of ones precious minutes on this earth and a mighty show of disrespect for ones interlocutor.

Hmm. I seem to have gotten off on a rant there. Sorry, I hadn’t planned on that. But I’m sure you, gentle reader, can empathize. It is not, after all, just BAC students who can’t wait to tell you just how busy they are.

Back to my main point:

Yea, I am walking the line here between reporting my clothing choice each day and never blogging at all. If I had a more exciting life, I’d be spared this dilemma. Regardless, I invite all to check back here once the aforementioned events have actually taken place. Then I might have more to offer than vitriol.

May the Songbird Follow You for the Duration of Your Journey,
Max

it is hot like no tomorrow

2005-08-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

whew....

yeah, so it has been a very long time since i have written. thank god max was there to inform those out there who are interested that we are still alive.

i always seem to forget that moving is such a painful, horrendous, horrible, awful, painful, wretched, awful, horrible expirience. and we werent the most prepared. it turns out that both of us working full-time creates a very disorganized and uncompleted task list -- and packing was certainly low on the list of important things to do. why you ask? well, after moving heavy boards full of mohair and cut chenille, the last thing i wanted to do was pack. and i have to admit that when i feel like i am the only one preparing for something important like moving, i get really overwhelmed, freak out and stop any work towards completion of whatever project is needed to complete. it is very bratty, but there is something in me that doesnt like it when i am the only responsible one. except, it isnt really like that. i just become melodramatic and make myself feel all overwhelmed....well, you get the picture. so i become horribly annoying. i tried to do less of that. really. max may have a different opinion.

however, we are actually all moved in -- but that doesnt mean we are organized. still alot of putting away -- sigh. it makes my ocd freak out a bit, but the fact we were able to put some curtain rods up today with some mighty fine curtains makes me relax a bit. yes i am THAT crazy.

tomorrow is full of more house work -- damn it, the apartment will be completed tomorrow! IT WILL! and perhaps some relaxation too. i am embarrassed to admit that i have been playing an awful amount of grand theft auto: san andreas. but i cant stop racing around a fictisious city, having sex with hookers and then killing them for their money. oh this game totally defies all of my personal beliefs -- i just cant stop playing it.

school is soon. that is scary. i have been contemplating some old work. hence the picture.

north conway was beautiful. we drove on a highway called kangamangefrangipangisomething or other. there was once a man on the mountain, but he has since fallen off in a landslide. oops. now new hampshire is mascot-free. it is definitely sad, considering how much touristy stuff still has the picture of the old rock face on it.

i will try to be a bit more regular about this updating thing now that we have the mighty internet.

until next time,

smooches.

An Indeterminate Spot in New Hampshire

2005-08-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

Howdy,

I know it has been a long time since my last post. I apologize for that. I know that if I don’t post people won’t keep coming back; it, after all, is my responsibility to give “the people what they want” as it were.

This is not an excuse, but we have been a touch busy, what with trying to get registered at the BAC (real headache) and working our jobz. My job is still good, much as before. Many workers are gone for vacation, including our principal, so there is little to do, but I don’t suppose there is anything wrong with that situation on face. I’ve been reading Wikipedia.

My horrible horrible sunburn is gone now, which is good, because it means I won’t have to run screaming off a rooftop as previously planned. Still, I refuse to go out in the sun, even for a second, ever again. This was a tad inconvenient as…

Alyson and I took a relaxing vacation to the New Hampshire woods this weekend. I’m not used to weekend getaways, but I can see myself becoming acclimated. There was some serious nature there. They don’t make that kind of nature back home, what with the huge pine hills and all. Why, back in IN, we had one pine-coveredhill, and it was maybe half the size of those in NH, and we still couldn’t get over ourselves about it.

We also ate this expensive French meal that was tasty. Like, really god-damned tasty. Melt-in-your-mouth style. Tastier than anything I’ve had in quite a while. Golly-gosh it’s fun to eat like that. I’d give you the name of this place, in case you’re ever in New Hampshire, but I wasn’t paying any attention and don’t recall it. I’m sure Aly knows.

I was beside myself with worry over money during this trip (as is my wont) but I checked the balance just now and we’re fine. This income-havin’ thing mighty hard for me to accept, I tells ya.

Also, I must decorate my cubicle. Right now, it’s plain and bland and doesn’t convey my personality to those who visit. I have a few good ideas, but they’re all pretty hard to implement. I welcome any thoughts.

We are still in boxes, our home computer is still not hooked up. Our pert chart calls optimistically for total completion of the move in 2083 (by our descendents).

May your cup be ever brimming,
Max

Beginning the Days of Wine and Roses Blistery and Red

2005-07-13T11:45:00.000-07:00

Lo,

This here’s Max Brown, comin’ at ya once again.

I apologize for the lengthy hiatus from blogging. May I say by way of explanation that I incurred second-degree burns across about 10% of my body the weekend before last, and this kept me from concentrating on a great many things, including this blog. The preceding is not intended as an excuse, of course.

My life-partner has previously alluded to all this. It sounds bad, but really all it is is an unbelievably bad sunburn. (Though I wasn’t kidding about that second-degree part; I looked it up.) You see, I went out into the sun to watch a motorboat race over the Independence Day holiday down in Florida (where my mother was at the time). I put on some sunblock, but not everywhere I should have. I was in the water, so the heating skin didn’t register with my brain, and so it went. Be this a lesson to you young people out there who, like me, don’t spend much time on the beach: the Earth’s sun actually can burn the living crap out of you, just like they taught in junior high Health class. (Only, as I recall, those classes did make clear that you should wear an extra-high SPF sunblock with a huge hat and shirt at all times [tres useful advice] but stopped short of mentioning that horrific sunburns can fully develop 36 hours after exposure and, during exposure, you’ll feel just fine.)

I would be remiss to fail to mention that Alyson has been a gem throughout the ordeal, rending medical care and putting up with what must have been lip-curling short-temperedness. I thank her heartily for that. She also took some pictures for posterity, so if you want to see them just drop her a line. Trust me, viewing these photos is an excellent way to ruin your afternoon (unless you’re my enemy, in which case they’ll probably be a little pick-me-up).

So I’m still peeling (literally – Alyson refers to it as molting). But I’ve got some feeling back in my shoulders and can now move one finger with the help of a prosthesis (figuratively) so I’ve been able to get to blogging and such.

In other news:
The new job is going quite well. The office is beautiful, I have a cute cubicle in the distal corner, the people are both smart and nice, and I feel that I can genuinely make a contribution without doing anything horribly boring or horribly immoral. This is wholly different from every other real job I’ve ever held. I’m still just an office lackey right now, and the commute is a drag, but I assert the pros outweigh the cons. (I still whistle a happy tune when I reflexively tell myself to check out some job listings only to realize I don’t have to anymore.) (I also whistle a happy tune when I think about how financial services is a field in which people who aren’t me make a living.)

Second, I have joined an Improv Comedy group. They are called ImprovBoston. As you may recall, I was already in a different group, but I couldn’t seem to make any of the shows due to schedule conflicts (plus that group seemed kind of crummy) so I had de facto quit. This new group shows promise. They’ve been around for something like 15 years, they have an extra-funky theater space, and the director of my subgroup really seems to know what he’s talking about. I don’t perform until early September to allow enough time for integration. Thus, I encourage all to check out one of my shows at that time (if you find yourself in Cambridge, MA over a weekend, that is). In the meantime, I’ll be practicing (we don’t call it ‘rehearsing’) with them once a week. That kind of commitment I can make, especially in the summer.

Finally, Aly is right: our new apartment is mighty nice. We recently signed the lease. In addition to what she mentioned about it, I would like to add that it’s way north, but still on a subway line (close enough to walk), so that was some powerful luck. Plus, there was no crippling down payment; the landlord even pitched in half a month’s rent because move-in time was drawing so near. Who would have believed it? Yea, fortune smiled this time.

Parting proposal: If Aly quits calling me “King Max” I will quit calling her ‘Aly.’ I await her reply.

May the wind be always at your back,
Max

datum

2005-07-05T20:05:00.000-07:00

so when i think about the beginning of any drawing, i have to contemplate the datum. a line often used as a point of reference on a drawing. it can be anywhere or anything. it is different than the axis. some consider the horizon lines to be datums.

i sometimes forget the thin line that balances out my life. too much of anything is never a good thing. too little just as bad. i always seem to forget how much easier it is just to let some stuff go. no need to be on edge. it can be hard to know when i am on the verge of shrilldom.

too much sun has burned king max and he is now wrapped in gauze.

too much spending has currently left our bank account to only have $9.20. tomorrow that will change. thankfully. gratefully.

we have found our apartment for, what max and i hope to be, the next few years. it has five rooms. a dishwasher. a washer and dryer. a beautiful bedroom. a study! a large pumpkin colored bathroom. the owners are nice and new, and it is cheaper than the place we are living now. i am in love.

oh the anna french

2005-06-27T18:43:00.000-07:00

well, like max, i hav acquired a design job. a real, honest to goodness design job. a job in which i play assistant while someone else, namely sassybosslady, plays the person who tells me to do menial tasks, like fold fabric samples. but really? i absolutely love it. i have an extremely funny sassybosslady, who is just about the best boss i have ever had. i mean, she calls me chickadee and has a partner who is hondurian. my co-workers are also super-sassy and one happens to be a brazilian, the other hailing from san fran. i am talking fabulous, people. i have to say, it is my most favorite job i have ever had, aside from teaching those really talented kids how to sing.
and.....i get to play with fabulous, fabulous high end fabrics. we are talking 250 dollars a yard. A YARD. and the best is this german line. oh. it. is marvelous.

so definitely feeling a bit more optimistic about the future. if we can just get over this july rent business and find ourselves a livable apartment that king max accepts, then life will be good.

Apartment Search Begins in Earnest

2005-06-27T08:42:00.000-07:00

Yo,

Back Story: Our lease is up on August 1st, and Alyson and I wish to move into a bigger, nicer place, which we feel we can do now that we have Ryan as a roommate and are earning something approximating a steady income. End of Back Story.

Yesterday, Alyson, Ryan, and I went to look at an apartment that Ryan had found online. It was one of those classic whole-floor-in-a-three-story-old-building apartments that are so common here in Bostonland. But never mind that. The point is, I have come to the conclusion that finding a new place is going to be rough. There is much that presents a stern challenge. For example, while examining the apartment, we were informed by the realtor that, no matter where we go, we will be required to fork over a crippling down payment. I have also concluded that I am way harder to please in the apartment department than either Aly or Ry-Boy. Our conversation about the place kept following these lines:

Moi: “I hated how that thing looked! Grr! Did you notice that thing and how it looked?”
Alyson: “Actually, that didn’t bother me.”
Moi: “How could that possibly not have bothered you?? Grr!”

I suppose, given this dynamic, the onus of finding a place falls more or less on me. I shall search the distant outskirts, so as to save money.

In other news, I’m still pretty jazzed about the new job. I began my final two weeks of the legal assistant job with a much haughtier air than I have ever carried before. I think I’ll go over to my supervisor’s cubical now and knock her down.

May all of you one day experience, if just for a fleeting second, the joy of not caring whether your blatant featherbedding is exposed,
Max

I Got the Job!

2005-06-24T09:04:00.000-07:00

Can you believe this? An actual job! In an actual architecture firm! This is, like, a career. Never had one of those before... I've been waiting for so dang long to get a proper architecture job I just don't know how to feel. No longer must I read the Gol Dern Laboratory listings or send resume after resume when I have spare time. How can I possibly wrap my head around this? That's been my whole way of life for 10 farging months! Good freaking lord, this architecture thing just might work out after all.

Drinks for everyone on me (metaphorically),
Max

The Four-in-Hand is for Losers

2005-06-23T14:00:00.000-07:00

Ahoy,

I learned recently that there are only 4 popular techniques for necktie tying: the four-in-hand, the Pratt or Shelby, the half-Windsor, and the Windsor. Further, there exist a total of only nine other possible techniques.

To be proper, from a strict, mathematical topologial knot-theory perspective, there are 85 (excluding large half-winding numbers), but only 13 don't look stupid.

http://www.tcm.phy.cam.ac.uk/~ym101/tie/aps97tie.html

I found that absolutely fascinating.

I'm going to use one of those nine only from here on out.

In other news, I still haven't heard from either of the two jobs for which I interviewed.

Go in peace,
Max

an addendum

2005-06-14T17:45:00.000-07:00

max actually walked six miles, both ways, to a total of 12 miles altogether.
you, dear reader, may decide the moronity.

smooches
a

Always Wander Determinedly

2005-06-14T13:50:00.000-07:00

Greetings,

It is Tuesday afternoon, and, for reasons that are totally unclear to me, the entire legal department at my company seems to have already gone home. I wonder if there’s a company picnic or something…. The odds that anyone will check in my cube to see if I’m “adding value,” as it were, to the company’s bottom line are pretty low under normal circumstances, so given that everyone left already I’m guessing the odds today are pretty much squat-to-one. So I don’t think I’ll be adding much value for the rest of the day. Don’t get me wrong, I would if I could, but in my current position I really can’t. I could read the new Onion, I suppose, but first I feel moved to write the following:

Last Friday, I had a meeting with a staffing company who said that they could just possibly get me a job which would be at least vaguely related to Architecture, getting me the BAC practice credit I so sorely need at this point. That was good. What was not so good was the fact that this particular company was not located where I thought it would be; in that it was several miles north of where I thought it would be. I am a moron for not double-checking my information (which, in retrospect, was really poor), this goes without saying, but whether I am also a moron for what I did next, is, I believe, a matter open to some debate. You see, I scheduled an early-morning meeting at this place so I could be done and get back to my current job at something like a reasonable hour. Sound plan, if I do say so myself. However, upon alighting from the subway and realizing that I had arrived at the agreed-upon time in a place that did not contain the staffing firm’s building (nor, it seemed, any commercially-zoned areas for that matter), I did not simply call to reschedule and turn around, but instead trucked out on foot along the highway (because I knew it was one the highway). Well, it wasn’t adjacent to a nearby park, as I had initially concluded, nor was there another park beyond the first…. To make a long story short, I walked for approximately four hours total that day, including a stint lost in the woods, but did, in fact, manage to get to the firm’s office and meet with them. I arrived at work at 12:30, instead of my usual 9:00. (No one seemed to have a problem with it. It helped that I called ahead, but basically, that sort irresponsible and unprofessional behavior is totally kosher when you’re a headcount such as me). I had a nasty little blister on my right foot from the trek that hurt lots even the next morning (dress shoes, don’t you know). I guess, in hindsight, I am probably a moron for doing what I did. Furthermore, also in hindsight, I am the only person on the planet who would even consider doing what I did. My irrational stubbornness is what makes me me.

The staffing firm might be able to get me a job; it remains to be seen.

Tonight I have an audition with some affiliate groups of ImprovBoston. Let’s see how it goes. I’m a bit concerned they’ll be lame, (that is to say, full of actor-types) but at least I’ll be up on stage again. I would hate to keep neglecting comedy forever. I have to say, it made me feel industrious and successful to go and print out that performance resume and headshot (it also made me feel like something of a pretentious lamewad; there was ambivalence, you see).

I learned today that, in 1748, Benjamin Franklin first used the term “battery” to refer to an electrical device. Previously it only referred to artillery units and beatings. No one quite knows why he picked ‘battery’ to describe the thing that delivers direct current; some surmise that it had something to do with how it delivers ‘blows’ of electricity ….

I’ve come to like blogging; I never set out to write much but I always seem to.

May the road rise up to meet you,
Max

how about a nice side of slave labor

2005-06-13T14:11:00.000-07:00

my mother just called to inform me that the china buffet, a restaurant that i used to frequent in college and otherwise, is having major governmental issues and is closing 6 michigan restaurants due to slave labor. yep. evidently the china buffet is being accused of locking chinese employees in hotel and carting them off to work, without much food or any pay. i wonder if they are still operating in indiana? needless to say, i feel totally grossed out and horrified. there is nothing quite like aiding the economy of slaves....

Jun 9, 12:11 PM EDT

17 Chinese restaurants raided in Mich.

By JOHN FLESHER
Associated Press Writer

TRAVERSE CITY, Mich. (AP) -- Authorities raided 17 Chinese restaurants around Michigan that they suspect of ducking millions of dollars in taxes and importing undocumented workers as a "modern version of indentured servants."

Search warrants were also served at 21 homes of suspected undocumented Chinese workers. Dozens were involved in the scheme, State Police Lt. Curt Schram said.

"It cost them X number of dollars to come to this country and they're trying to work off that debt," Schram said.

Investigators believe one family or related families own the restaurants, which are mostly in the central and west-central areas of the Lower Peninsula, the statement said.

The owners are suspected of claiming only a third of their actual income and sending part of the proceeds out of the country, while shortchanging the state and federal governments of millions of dollars in sales, unemployment and use taxes, police said. About $400,000 in cash was seized.

Nine people were arrested at a Chinese buffet in Petoskey, and two people believed to be undocumented workers were charged with driver's license violations and jailed in Montcalm County. An additional 13 people were found to have deportation orders and were handed over to immigration authorities.

"It's some sort of modern version of indentured servants," Emmet County Prosecutor James Linderman said.

The investigation began with one detective checking out a report in Newaygo County and eventually involved 22 local, state and federal agencies, Schram said.

Businesses in other states also are being looked at, although warrants have been served only in Michigan, he said.

The raids turned up "a tremendous amount" of business records written in Chinese that must be translated, Schram said.

my right hand is so tired

2005-06-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

the past few days have been hectic -- lots of cleaning, lots of organizing, lots of writing thank you notes. i refuse to be THAT bride who doesn't properly thank each and every person for being a part of the wedding. they made a sacrifice to attend, and i can sacrifice some time to extend my thanks.

tonight the max and i met up at the store and in that couple-ly way, shopped for groceries and made dinner together. oof! gross! love! we did, however, make the best hamburgers along with homemade fries and corn on the cob. delicious!

in spite of the gloriousness of love in my life, i cant help but feel utterly rejected in my job search. it has been rough. three serious interviews so far. and i have absolutely nothing to show for it. i cant help but think that if i was more awesome at (insert ridiculous ability here), then i would for sure get the job. i totally have talent. i totally can sell a lamp, i mean, JESUS. if ethan allen wont take me, who will?

smooches
a

i finally learned what 90% humidity feels like

2005-06-07T06:10:00.000-07:00

so, it was a whirl-wind of a wedding.

i was very happy with how it all turned out -- everyone worked like dogs to make sure everything was as great as it could be. so much to do! my mother and sister created beautiful decorations and the huppah! oh the huppah! the rabbi was great, if a little too drunk at times, and it seemed like all the right people were there.

not that there wasn't a fair share of nerve-wracking moments. but those didn't outweigh the really good stuff that happened. i don't know why i thought i would have so much time with people. i think there were a few people irritated with the fact i wasn't able to see them more. but i think that is how weddings go....i did try really hard to make everyone feel as important as i view them to be!

there also was some snafus with driving people to the airport. really, there were many family members who needed rides and few cars to take them in. i feel bad, but i also feel like i shouldn't have had to bear the responsibility to make sure everyone got where they needed to be. i actually was very very busy decorating, shopping, cleaning, organizing, and making food. it wasn't alyson with mai tai's on the beach everyday. we are super broke, but we rented a car. i sincerely appreciate the sacrifice it took to come to myrtle beach, but i also had ALOT to deal with.

but truly, it was a glorious couple of days, even with the rain, crazy and stress. i will post some pictures soon! you can also check the reluctant receptionists view of the trip.

Gaze Upon the Married Man

2005-06-06T14:42:00.000-07:00

Lo and Behold,

I return from Myrtle, all wed-up. I felt the proceedings went quite well. No, they were not perfect, but they were sure a whole lot better than my occasional nightmares of them. Alyson’s Rabbi was wholly laid-back and the ceremony took the form of a happy discussion among friends and family as opposed to a formal ancient religious rite (as many of them go). I’m not big on formal ancient religious rites, so that was good from my perspective. The food was good also; not five-star gourmet, but for crying out loud, who the flip has the money for five-star gourmet?? It was more than tasty enough, if I may say so myself. We held the ceremony under a homemade hupa (a word which is apparently very hard to pronounce) which turned out spiffy, and we exchanged rings and personal vows (captured for eternity from the right). We marked the occasion with just enough pomp to have a nice clear benchmark in the collective consciousness and we caused a lot a people to have a good time (or so I hope; I probably wouldn’t be told if the whole thing was excruciating for all concerned except me). That is what I wanted to do and I feel we did it. So hurrah. It sure felt wrong to not be married to Aly there at the end. Why, if much more time had passed I would have set out at night, kidnapped those closest to me and Alyson, taken them to a dark room, and said some quick vows to their sleepy faces before tossing them back into my windowless 15-passanger van and returning them to bed. It is good that I did not have to do that.

Some people could not join us for the occasion, and this is sad, but I know that there were only a few people I personally would have really missed had they not been present; most joyously, they were all there. Great thanks again to everyone in attendance.

Still, it was a shame that … you know. Three. There wasn’t much interaction, but what there was even…. Hoo-boy…. I mean, wow. Didn’t let it ruin it for me though. I hope everyone else took it in stride…

Air travel takes way longer than it should, even if nothing goes wrong. But I suppose one could say that about all travel (except local Wichita car travel of course).

May all single readers become married within the hour,

Max

Hey Now, That's not Exactly True

2005-05-31T11:22:00.000-07:00

Hello, it is I, Max. Good day to you, reader.

Okay, I freely admit that my presence here on this blog has long been foretold and yet I have not exactly posted anything until just now. Let me state firstly that I don’t believe it’s quite fair of Alyson to suggest that my lack of posting here is due to the fact that she “can’t get me to remember things.” First, it is, of course, not her place to “get me to remember things”, but also the fact of the matter is that I haven’t forgotten to post here, but have instead been conducting an internal debate as to how to go about it….

You see, I’ve approached this whole ‘blog’ thing a wee bit gingerly as the last thing I need is to have any of my numerous enemies read what I really think of them. Yes, this ‘blog’ concept has forced a measure of realization within me in regard to the falseness and duplicity with which I approach so many of my non-personal relationships. I didn’t know it, but I’ve been lying to many people about quite a number of topics: whether I’m already married, what my career goals are, whether I’m working right now like I’m supposed to be (I’m not), and so forth…. I always have to check what I’m saying to a given person to ensure it doesn’t contradict the elaborate persona I’ve established for myself in their eyes. Of course, none of this applies to people I actually respect, and these are the people, I figure, who are reading the blog, so I must be honest in the blog, but if someone I’ve been duping sees the honesty.... But hey, I’ve decided to throw caution to the wind on this one, as I’ve come to begrudgingly admit that Alyson is probably right when she says that only friends and family read this thing (even though one never knows for sure out here on this big, scary Internet). So here I go, blogging away, for the first time ever….

I shall begin with introductions. I am Max, Alyson’s squeeze. I live with her here in Boston and attend her school, the BAC. I’m enrolled in the Master of Architecture program. I have a pseudo-sinecure with an investment firm at this time but am actively looking for something more architecture-y. At this point, I’m hunting for AutoCAD related positions. (If you have any to offer in this area, I instruct you to hire me forthwith.) I chose architecture after a walking a long and difficult path because I answered three questions: 1) Do you want to work with people or things? [Things] 2) Is it REALLY important that you have creative license in your work? [‘Fraid so] 3) Do you like to do math? [‘Fraid not] Architecture seems like the only position that fits these answers, except perhaps for advertising, which I see as socially irresponsible, and creative writing, which is way, way too competitive for my tastes. So here I am.

I’m getting married to Alyson in ceremony at the end of this week. I’m very glad to be doing it and I do hope it works out well for all involved. We don’t care much for religion or tradition so the way we do this is pretty much up to us completely. Alyson is better at these things than me so I’ve differed to her on most issues. She thinks this means I don’t care, but it is not so. I just don’t have any clue. (She asked me to help pick out plates yesterday; they all looked exactly the same to my eyes. I mean exactly….)

I suppose that’s good enough for now.

Max out

fake husband

2005-05-26T20:09:00.000-07:00

so really, there truly is this man named max who i am going to marry next friday. really. he does exist. it is just that i cant get him to remember things, like writing on this here blog. which frankly, continues to make this a one woman show. which is just fine with me.

life has sped up considerably since school ended. lots of work to do before next friday. BECAUSE I AM GETTING MARRIED NEXT FRIDAY. oi vey. totally nervous about everything. but i did manage to get the flowers, finally. did you people know that mini-gerbs existed? too cute. and i will be having them. in many shades of pink. who knew that i would be having such a girlie wedding? and for those of you who know me, you know how i react to presents. nowadays i find myself screaming at least once a day. it is pretty great.

and the sklar/brown household would like to welcome michigans very own ry-boy mcclure to the fray. he is mystic ave's newest and youngest resident. unless you count the bunny, that is. it is one full house. minus uncle jesse.

ciao until next time, or until maxilla gets it together,
a

whew

2005-05-19T04:18:00.000-07:00

ok, i am not dead, but i certainly feel like it!
today is my final review for studio. the big one, as we like to call it. i cant remember the last time i was awake for this long. since 8 am, wednesday morning. oof. however, i got some kick ass drawing done, a little watercolor and one mean design concept statement written. perhaps i can snow them once again?
here is hoping i actually stay awake for my presentation. i can almost see it now....

reviewer: so ms. sklar, i think you might need to re-think your entire design. it has soooo many flaws, blah blah....
me: um..o...k....zzzzzz
r: ms. sklar? um, is she actually.....ms. sklar?

yes, that is how it could take place. more later!

and if you havent noticed we are now adding max to the fray. i will force him to post soon.

smooches
a

full circle

2005-05-06T22:17:00.000-07:00

well, i am back. i have been back since monday evening, but i have had nary a moment to update this ol' blog here. let me just say, until may 22, my writing on this little space in the internet may be a bit sporadic.
whew. what a week. not only am i on the edge of all sanity in terms of school and family, but i have a wedding to make fabulous! and fabulous it is going to be. i am so excited, i can hardly contain myself. everyone is getting their assigments. it is all coming together. i am talking lemon cucumber water people. we may be poor, but it is going to be one classy wedding. i cant wait to hear the music, see the decor my mother has planned. OH MY GOD! i am officially getting married in one month.
i also wanted to report on one of the cutest 12 year old kid type people i have ever met. she is a student of mine. and evidently practices so much in the house, her parents want to have voice lessons twice a week. she hates the war and gets in verbal fights with kids at school because they "only believe that their stupid parents tell them to" and she is continuously frustrated with people her age who dont seem to care about what is happening in the world. she has a voice like an 18 year old. she listens to every word i say. she is excited by opera. this girl is totally awesome. who knew i could actually love this job. today i had to teach four lessons and at the end of the lesson i was totally shocked that a half hour was up. i have never felt this way about a job.

2005-04-26T04:33:00.000-07:00

last night my grandmother gave up the battle. and frankly i am relieved, because, from what i understand she was suffering a great deal. it is just such a strange thing, that death. and it just seems like our family is dwindling.

my mother seems okay. calmer than i thought. she is very afraid of the next couple of days. i think for her it is too soon for another funeral. we spoke last night and she told me that this is the third person to die when she wasnt around. her father died when she went home to rest, my brother was a surprise, and my grandmother evidently waited all day until my mother went home to feed the dog. i dont know it is coincidence or not, especially concerning my grandmother, but evidently she was making comments about how she was not afraid of dying as much as she was afraid how her children were going to be once she died.

all of it is very sad, of course, and tomorrow at 6 am, i will be heading to traverse city. it will be nice in many ways, since i havent been home in 9 months. and it will give me a chance to catch up with family, see craigs grave again.

but again, i am not as upset as i thought i might be. i am comforted by the fact that her suffering is over. but mostly it is just that strange void that happens when someone you know dies. it is a weird feeling.

a

send me to the promised land

2005-04-24T18:09:00.000-07:00

well things in the land of moxie are relatively the same: lots of school, lots of work and one messy apartment.

last night was a lovely seder celebration at ben and rachael's. really, so wonderful. rachael re-wrote the hagaddah to be all-inclusive, full of liberation theology and completely community oriented. we washed each others hands, drank 20 bottles of wine and dined on some of the best vegetarian fair i have had in years. it was truly a remarkable evening. it was one of the best passover's i can recall. and like seders of my past, it lasted a full 6 hours, and we left at 1 in morning. delightful.

and thank god, because on the way to their house, which is in jamaica plain, max and i became horrendously lost. i mean HORRENDOUSLY. and we absolutely hated one another. it was great. we always get lost in boston. every single damn time we drive. and the conversation goes a-somethin' like this:

alyson: in an extremely grating voice, max, where the fuck are you going?
max: in an extremely irritated voice, dear, you want to drive?
alyson: hmpf...
max: yes, that is a great solution. how bout reading the map?
alyson: you know how i feel about THAT.
max: yes. you have made that quite clear. so i guess we will keep driving.....

it goes something like that for as long as we are lost. it is awesome.

2005-04-19T19:39:00.000-07:00

a little bit of my work for you all

2005-04-19T19:12:00.000-07:00

blah! no more cranky, grumbly-bumbly-ness.

today was a serious of ridiculous events, most notably spending 4 hours doing autocad, which is this horrendous computerized drafting software. yes, i am somehow learning SOFTWARE. who knew?! but anway, my autocad partner in crime and i were attempting to get all of our drawings together, and it was a near diseaster. i mean, total alyson meltdown. the kind of meltdown where you cant see anything other than a bright, white light alternated by visions of the computer being thrown out the window. it went a little somethin' a-like this:

me : so, um, why cant i do this
partner in crime : sigh
me: no really, i just did this function like a minute ago
p-i-c: would you like me to get on the compy?
me: no, god damn it, WHY WONT THIS WORK.
p-i-c: --
me : AJKFHAPOIEY{PJOGNDPIOUAS){J FUCK@LA:KHFPOIHGPIHGOI. i hate autocad.

as you can tell, i am a REAL asset to the team. huge asset. huge ass.

tomorrow will be filled with lots of drawing, lots of crying and lots laughing and the hysterical nature of the next few weeks. haha. ha. heh. hfm.

the last word

2005-04-17T07:02:00.000-07:00

my grandmother is dying. she was just moved to a special home, and is being made comfortable. last night my mother asked me to write a eulogy and an obituary. yeesh. i figured if i could do one for craig, i could certainly write one for ga. but for me, this woman has been pretty damn crabby for the last ten years or so. should i write about how we constantly argued about politics, religion and personal freedom? she believed in god, loved the pledge of allegiance, and well, had a word or to about those gays. what is it that i am supposed to write?
well, when i was younger she was absolutely the cool grandma. she wore wild outfits, very 80's make-up and had great jewelry. my sister and i loved her way more than our mother and spent months at her house. we were force fed endless amounts of dessert (that woman loves sugar), hugs and fun. but as she got older, and her body cause problems, life was quite unpleasant. and she essestially gave up and began to wait for what is happening now. in many ways it has been a great lesson. take care of yourself, do not become anti-social, keep that body moving.

2005-04-12T19:09:00.000-07:00

because these waitresses will take shit from no one. and their fried chicken is marvelous.

2005-04-12T16:53:00.000-07:00

sometimes i have to remember that reality checks are good. and to find a way to stop feeling so damn sorry for myself. blarg! and really how lucky i am so have such fabulous friends. i just wish i could make them all live in boston so i could tell them every day how neat i think they are.

i suppose it is easy to get caught up in one's one melodrama, but jesus. i am still sad about alot of things at the moment, but it isnt soul crushing, and i have work to do. i am over it. or at least i am not going to cry anymore.

during my boring mcboring color theory class, i figured out what we are going to be munching during the wedding celebration...and i am not telling. but damn. it is going to be marvelous. and the drinks! oh the drinks!

sometimes max gets mad at me for losing* his stuff. and he inevitably finds said item somewhere typical, like IN HIS BAG. THE BAG HE CARRIES WITH HIM EVERYDAY. yet before he finds the item, he gets mad and irrated that i have clearly thrown out something very precious to him, just for the simple pleasure of me making him go without. right.

*actually cleaning the apartment and putting away both of our stuff in its correct container such as putting band-aids back in the bathroom. WHERE THEY BELONG!

always in that pit of despair

2005-04-12T07:06:00.000-07:00

well, yesterday was a painful day. the weekend was very stressful and was less of a weekend, and more like an extended week. i did not work very well towards my studio project, and it showed and i basically have to get my act together. our final review is in 6 weeks. it definitely makes me want to vomit.

i have this problem with hating to disappoint. ugh. i had to run to the bathroom to cry. i thought i might have a nervous breakdown. the jitteryness never stops. i no longer sleep. i wonder, is life always going to be like this?

my grandmother is dying, slow and fast at the same time. she doesnt know what is going on now, as she is on morphine. i spoke to her like a child a few days ago. she could barely remember her words. i havent been home in nine months. she will not know who i am in a few days.
not to mention that max and i are still not above poverty in any way. how does this happen? we buy groceries, pay bills. i always am shocked how we never have money. and we continue to disappoint.

yes, my stress is about disappointment. my teachers, my students, my in laws, my friends. and its hard to not think about all the ways, on a daily basis, i do not live up to my own standards.

whew, okay, this post is beginning to over itself. i think i am going to step away from the computer and this pit for a moment.

2005-04-11T14:42:00.000-07:00

sometimes i am cute and sometimes max is cute

no animals today

2005-04-08T20:21:00.000-07:00

so instead of blogging pictures of my pets, i thought i would write a real post tonight. except that i am tired. so more tomorrow. but i am sure there will be a plethora to write about seeing as how my students are giving a recital tomorrow. oh its true. people ages 10-55 will be singing their little hearts out at the academy. already two of my students wanted to drop out of the recital. poor things, so afraid.
a

2005-04-07T04:58:00.000-07:00

because today, i too, wish i could be high on a shelf like the always afraid lucia.

panic

2005-04-06T11:28:00.000-07:00

yesterday, i spent a great deal of time walking around the fancy streets of boston -- newbury and bolyston. it is very busy and fabulous, and i love that i spend a lot of my time there, even if it makes me feel like i need to rob various banks in order to afford a new wardrobe. i mean, it is hard enought to pass the newish marc jacobs store, but there are a bazillion cute, trendy, unique little boutiques all along newbury. but before i rob all of those banks, i have to figure out how i can become a size 2.
right.
i am feeling a great deal of panic and stress right now, which if course makes me do nothing related to that stress, unless one considers playing on the computer for an ungodly amount of time a reasonsable and school related activity. oi. it also makes me hate food, so my diet has become the liquid form, full of odwalla's superfood and v8. hey, at least i am getting my goddamn daily dose of fruits and vegetables. the only other real food thing that sounds remotely delicious is a bean burrito from the wrap. and forgive me for not wanting to eat a bean burrito every day. ooof.
soon i will be off to the laser cutting, the picture taking, the quiz failing and serious apartment cleaning that will be today.
ciao!
a

2005-04-04T18:56:00.000-07:00

because i now realize just what an animal nutcase i am.

oi vey, or really, the day from hell

2005-04-04T18:50:00.000-07:00

so, yeah, its been one of those days. one of those days where you wake up an hour late, you forget all of your homework but still have to sit through three hour classes, files have gone missing from your computer, all your money is gone, and you are forced to sit through a painful seminar on how to find a design job where people yell at your for only knowing how to make a performance resume.
oi.
things that are good: i have spoken with a few far away friends today. that was good. my project for studio is going to be totally rad (if i can manage to pull it together) and in may max and i will be on easy street, that is, until we spend everything we own on some crazy wedding.
tomorrow is filled with more of the same, except a special trip full of longing to the fabulous madura, a interior design store that i want everything from. literally. unfortunately, i have to sketch it, dimension it and attempt an autocad drawing of it. you know, easy breezy.

2005-04-03T10:17:00.000-07:00

a little artwork to cheer us all up

moving up

2005-04-03T09:46:00.000-07:00

yeah, so officially i am going to write here now.

i keep having panic dreams -- on various subjects, but mostly the wedding.
i am also currently panicking about my homework this weekend. i am again, model building. this time without my boyfriend the laser cutter. ooof.

i wish i could actually say that fun things are a happening here in boston, but alas, poverty has struck again, and the homework is killer.

ah spring.

hey, perhaps i could be a little more sunshiny?