october sky

with the weather being so gray, rainy and cold, it is easy not to feel too motivated to do much other than watch oprah, which is what i do now, since i only work 20 hours a week. and make pumpkin pie like i did last night. i am already gearing up to don the official housewife uniform of a juicy couture sweatsuit. just call me nancy. or maybe gloria (only if i start smoking menthol lights).
i was thinking that i haven't quite come to terms with being a wife, and now i am going to add mother to the list. do you think 'host organism' is as easy to say as mama?
yeah, i thought by now those maternal instincts would kick in - the only instincts i have are to guilt the child for all he has put me through. my mother will be happy to know that i am going to carry on the proud tradition of jewish (s)mothering.
ooh, and i recently purchased a book on parenting. its schtick is all about attachment parenting. oof. because shit like that is now a part of my vocabulary. basically it is all about meeting the child's needs on their terms. um, isn't that parenting in general? apparently, some like to put their new child on a schedule, and will do things such as let them cry when they are hungry because it isn't feeding time yet. the parents make a schedule of feeding, sleeping, etc that is convenient for them. i mean, i may only be 9 months pregnant but that sort of thing already pisses me off. children happen to be a bit inconvenient. that's the problem with having them. but making a child cry for hours doesn't seem to be a great way to aid their development. yeah kids need to be held, a lot, and they need to be fed when they are hungry, and sleep when they are tired. i am sure its going to be exhausting and plenty annoying. but hey, i am the one making the decision to have this kid, right?
and in non baby news....eh. nothing. its pretty much waiting for baby. and thinking about baby. baby. BABY!

so, about that

so, there he is.

i am only posting this picture, because honestly, it is the first normal looking ultrasound picture that i have.

the first was a blob. the second was skeletor and the others have been just weird, funny images of baby parts.

but this, this kind of looks like a kid. with max's nose, i am afraid.

i should also quietly mention that he is almost 8 pounds. which means he should cease to exist in my abdomen, and really starting living among other humans in the real world. gah. 8 pounds!

the snapping of liederhosen

tomorrow night is harpoon's oktoberfest. for those non-bostonians out there, it is a party held at harpoon's local brewery, and it is a delightful evening of ridiculously strong and very fresh beer. and hot dogs. and liederhosen.
last year was a mighty wreck of drunkosity. there were men in liederhosen. my friend snapped their liederhosen like they were rubber bands. it was amazing. sadly, will my impending labor and major pregnosity, i don't think i can go. i have been told that through the miracle of technology, i will be sent video of all the highlights throughout the night. i don't know if it will be the same....
have i admitted to my 20 hr work week? yeah, i am only work half days now, with fridays off. this is a luxury i have not experienced in years. and i suppose it might do me well to relax these next couple of days. because soon, and don't think i am not panicking because i am, i will soon have a child that will allow zero relaxation. maybe. all i know is that when my boss came back from his paternity leave (two weeks at home with the new kid) he looked like a mack truck had run over his body a zillion times. oof.
i hope to soon have some non child news. or rather, non child-centric news. because i really don't want to be THAT kind of family, where all we do is talk about the kid. except that is all i do. hm. don't ever hesitate to tell me to shut the hell up.
one more item - the topsfield fair is this weekend. if you think for one moment that i would miss such exciting activities as pig racing, well you are sadly mistaken.

mmm. donut.

so the baby gestation continues. but i want to make it clear that i want it out. and by "it" i mean my child. really. seriously. get out of my abdomen. i mean, ew. think about it - if it was a 6 pound cat, most people might be horrified/repulsed. but it is a 6 pound (i'm guessing maybe more at this point) human, and apparently, people are just fine with that. i am not one of those people.
additionally, i would like my maternal instincts to kick in at some point. i am guessing when the child is able to be held in my arms and not my abdominal cavity, i will feel more like a mother and less like a kangaroo.
also, the non sugar killing of my child has been going well. i have managed to control all that sugar death with proper diet and medication. which is super - but i do have days, like today, where i totally cave and eat a donut for breakfast. or two donuts. in addition to last night's mini glass of wine, i am clearly an unfit mother/kangaroo. but that sugar craving usually subsides and i go back to broccoli. mmm broccoli!
speaking of last night, dinner was amazing. boston may be the red-headed stepchild to new york and its night life may end at 12:30 am, but we have some amazing restaurants. such as the beehive, which is quite lovely and all the rage at the moment. however, i had a major cheapo experience and i cant figure out if i have a problem or not. i love going out to more chi-chi places, but since when is 54 dollars for a bottle of wine considered to be moderately priced? have i missed something? do i need to start robbing more banks? clearly i am a giant cheapskate.

maine

so, today, for fun, we went to maine.
i sometimes forget that i live ridiculous close to very small states. and maine is no exception. perfectly lovely and delightful.
portland, if one could guess, is a semi-touristy port town. people eat lobstah and can buy gorgeous jeweltry/furniture/artwork. there are many cute dogs. the weather was exceptional, as was the company. my delightful friend anna and her boy were camping near the area, so we met up, wandered around, ate lunch, and wandered around some more. and what is even better is that tomorrow is an additional day of freedom. fabulous.
max and i also finished 'eat your vegetables' kind of movie - that is, we watched a good movie that also happened to be good for us. its called Reds and it involved warren beatty and diane keaton. it was apparently nominated for 13 academy awards...in 1981. but, really it was quite good and regarded the bolshevik revolution. who wouldnt want to watch a movie about that!
tomorrow will be endless relaxation, or insane cleaning caused by my nesting insticts. i think the walls will probably get washed sometime before midnight.....

spin spin sugar

yeah, so apparently this little alien is causing my body to not properly deal with sugar.

what a bummer.

not only does this include pricking my finger 4-6 times a day to check my glucose levels, but it also involves taking a drug called glyburide - which is sort of new, and of course, seems to be ok for pregnant women in their second and third trimester only. awesome. but the health risks to the child, should i not watch my diet, check my glucose and take meds is a bit scary (meaning fat baby, c-section baby, addicted to sugar baby, etc). happy to do the right thing. i never knew i would like diet, caffeine free coke so much. ah, can of chemicals, you light up my life.

otherwise all is well. har. really, there is very little left to go, so i dont feel completely panicked or totally freaked out. i am, however, having to switch doctors - see, my lovely 13 year old (as max calls her) family practice doctor is still a resident. cool, but when you are killing your child with sugar, they like a real ob/gyn to consult. well, new man doctor had a bit less bedside manner, but seems entirely efficient and capable. he also basically said he was taking over, was going too see me every week, etc. super. so bye doogie howser, hello mr. sassy man doctor. ah, HMO's. but, i should mention for a moment how grateful i am for insurance. cah-rist! once appt. cost nearly 1,500 dollars! ack! and my lovely insurance covers all pre-natal care. craziness. i mean, we are talking thousands of dollars here. i appreciate why it is all so expensive, but what a burden all around! the US should become a much more fascist country and limit how many children can be born a year. i mean, seriously people.

but other than being a baby killer, i feel pretty good. now, i am getting slightly huge. max likes to affectionately sing the babar theme song. yes, babar is an elephant. max is a really wonderful, supportive husband. who i will surely murder once this child is out of me. but really, it must be a bizarre sight, to see that your partner looks like she swallowed a basketball. but he is a lucky guy. and he happens to rub my feet every night, so i suppose i can forgive the babar sing a long.

futon

so, i beginning to think i am more horrible than i thought.
we are getting rid of our futon, which feels like an accomplishment, like "hey, we have been out of undergrad for three years! time to get rid of the futon....". and just now, i realized it's been more like five. har.
so, anway, i put this futon on craigslist, and i have received some replies. except, i am totally judging people by their names. if it sounds sketchy, then i just delete. how can a name sound sketchy, you ask?
have you ever received a spam email that involved some king from some weird part of the world who needs somebody to deposit like a million dollars in some bank account, and you, as the depositer would receive a 10% cut, or something ridiculous. yeah, names like that. made up names. am i supposed to give this person my address?
also, i am totally not budging from my original asking price.
sometimes, you just cant take the michigan outta the girl. or the jew. you decide.

freedom fries

so, the fourth was celebrated by going to max's work on our day off and working on school work.
can our lives get anymore exciting?!

also, do you see the gloriousness of the wallter hex wall applications? i hope you do. because the theme of the kidlet's decor is the delightful fuzzy bee, i thought it would be a nice touch to add some modern geometric shapes to balance. imagine if you will, a very barely yellow, with white trim. on one wall facing the door, either white or brown hex shapes will greet you, in some similar pattern to the picture. probably white. so amazing! ah! cute without being horrible! i know some parents might decorate their new kidlet room with lots of cutesy cartoony animals. not me, sister. the only cute fuzziness is the bedding. the rest shall be modern and clean. and honestly, the kid wont really know what is going on for some time.

my mother in law also already sent some exciting gifts, and i have to add, she sent me the most coveted item on my registry. the chicken head hat. oh god, it is amazing. if anything good comes out of this whole reproducing thing, it will be that i can dress it however i choose. and that means chicken head hats.

home, parenthesis.

so, nearing thirty (ok, in like three years), i have to wonder if i am on the 'right' track or not. is my apartment 'adult' enough (and not in the dirty way). is there are certain level one achieves at thirty? and how is this level determined? have i missed my window of opportunity to be a fully functional adult with savings and bonds and a 401k (well i have the 401k - thanks work!)?
i suppose i have a career (weird), i am married (weird), about to have a kid (weird). hm. i have to admit, i never really equated those things with adulthood. having money maybe. and a house. ha. those material goods are far away, i think. max sometimes asks me if i regret not marrying rich. i tell him every single day of my life. kidding. really. maybe.
eh, if there is some specific level, i am probably not there. which is ok. i have everything i really need, and then some. a savings account would be nice.
as a side note, i hate paris hilton alot.

Yeah, so, like, that is totally what I wanted to do today. Apparently I have been sleeping on my neck in the completely wrong way, because I cant seem to move my head in any way.

Additionally, we finalized the plans for the baby shower invites - and let me say, these might be the fanciest invites i have ever, ever had. my friend anna, who has amazing taste, is the creator of these jems. i cant wait to send them out. modern and gorgeous, with bees (the inspiration for today's image). have i mentioned the theme of the kaiser roll is bees? have i mentioned we are going to name the kid kaiser cross sklar? yeah, there are many opinions of that. however, we were trying to think of something that relates to our families, and i was remarking on how i like max's fathers name. kaiser sklar it is. we will probably call him kai most of the time. or kaiser roll. i haven't decided.

sometimes i boil max's blood. i have this amazing knack for waking him up at the wrong time, specifically when he is late. apparently, i wake him up at the precise moment where it is too late to fix it. like, if he has a meeting at 8:30, i will usually wake him up at 8:35. i don't do this on purpose, i swear.

in a garden

so, after a rousing weekend of baroque music, i am able to return to my homebody ways.
a recent shopping trip to crate and barrel introduced me to the new line of dessert mixes by ina 'two pounds of butter' garten. i, of course, had to try the chocolate cupcakes.

oh god. i am happily bringing them to the office so i may not gain 5 more non-baby pounds.

while, i don't really feel its very responsible to blog about work, i do have to admit that there are a few characters there that i just cant wrap my head around. i like to think of myself as a pretty likable and easy-going person, but some personalities rub me the wrong way - namely super uptight, asshole personalities. seriously. there is no place for that in my life. i am far to old to tolerate the kind of person who, when i smile at them in the hallway, refuses to acknowledge my existence. additionally, people don't have to speak to others with the harshest tone possible. last i checked, it was completely unnecessary.

really though, the weekend was lovely. it felt good to see some well performed music - it made me miss it a little. and of course, amanda is a delightful house guest, though i still feel bad that my cats are unable to detect the fact that she is allergic to them. in fact, they giver her more attention than anyone! they also don't understand that amanda's lap is far smaller than the lap of max or myself. i was also able to check out Boston's new modern art museum, which is gorgeous - very minimalist. beautiful work.

but now, i am totally worn out.
ciao!

yeah.....

i don't have any excuse, really.
but i have been a very bad blogger. perhaps in an effort to document the continuation of what i am calling 'alyson as host organism', i will post more. but who wants to read a blog about a preggo?

things are moving along nicely. i hate to admit that i am proud of the fact that the unborn is growing at a perfect rate and seems to have all requirements of a perfect human form. the heart has all of its valves. there are two kidneys. what more can we ask for?

i am also grappling with the fact that is it boy child. a boy. i really, really, really thought it was going to be a girl. but i am apparently giving max a proper son to inherit the kingdom. christ. it is sooo going to be a mini-max.

in other news, life is moving at a rapid clip. work is busy for the both of us. school has ended for me, thank god, but max is beginning the semester - summer classes. i cant even deal. but he is anxious to finish, which i understand. i am still trying to keep myself under the impression that i will be taking classes in the fall.

hilarity.

wow, um wow.

so, has it really been since august! my god, max and i are terrible bloggers. i bring no joy to anyone in the blogosphere. i think my friend robert is amazing. he not only writes hilariously, but every day to boot. sigh.
but i am writing because this is one of the first days i have had off since, well, august! i took an extra day for the thanks, and it will entail lots of laundry, dishes and packing. i am headed to DC where max's sister and father live. It will be lovely and capitol-esque.
the work. hm. the work has been good, just very busy. i am still on the retail end of things, but lately i have been a part of a design protoype for a large company that sells children's shoes. there have been plan diagrams by hand and using illustrator (my new favorite program - all of the pantone colors!), concept and image research, interviews with kids, and indesign books for presentations. its been very different and pretty thrilling. i actually felt somewhat like an interior designer, as opposed to space planner. i was mostly assisting a lead designer at work, who i must say has an impeccable eye and knows exactly what she wants. it was actually pretty thrilling to work with someone who not only understands construction but has a really creative approach and amazing design technique. i have also begun some corporate interiors work, which isnt the most creative, but still is something new and something i have never done before.
so yeah, life in a nutshell. things have been pleasantly busy and fun - a halloween extravaganza (dragqueen cabaret singer - because i think when i go over the top with makeup, etc, i actually look more like a man than any drag queen) visits from dear, dear friends and family, whom i adore, and lots of work related drinking.
truly, will try to write more. sheesh.
smooches!

red balloons

additionally, max informed me last night, that:

1. he has to agree with me in that america may not be the place we live, you know, like forever.
2. he has decided against my ideas of paris and perhaps florence, but has chosen BERLIN!

which of course reminds me of those hilarious cartoons in my german class that said things like,
ich ein berliner. or something. because, honestly, i dont remember much german. which, i suppose i should regret!

so, if and when we graduate, and then somehow snag jobs at international architecture firms in new york, we will then move to berlin and have children or own weiner dogs. or weimeraimers.

yeah.

sklown

just came back from a great weekend in nyc - dear god - i forget how much i miss these people until i see them!
unfortunately, i came home with some tummy troubles, so i took today off as well. lots of water, lots of rest, and a potential doctor visit. bleh. i liked being sick as a child (lots of magazines, coloring books, attention from mom), but as an adult, it just kind of sucks. seriously.
anyway.....
back to nyc. it was great - saw important places of opera, the met museum of art, movies, and a few fabulous bars and restaurants. mostly importantly, it was just alot of hangout time with robert and amanda. of which i was in dire need. dont get me wrong, boston is great, and i love my boston people. but these particular gems are seriously dear friends who have seen me at my best and worst. and everyone is doing well! sure, there are things we might change here and there, but essentally, everyone is great. additionally, i was reminded my my list of possible last names, before max and i married. and its still true that sklown is by far, the worst last name a person could ever have.
its fun to see how our lives are playing out. and for whatever reason, i now feel a bit more at ease about a few things, more importantly the new career path i have taken. i have felt some guilt about it, but everyone was happy for me and interested to hear about it. especially when i spouted of unwanted historical facts about perspective. that must have been awesome. i think i have been spending too much time with encylodpedia maxica.
so, i am going to head back to the couch. more soon.

the boring

since the end of school, life has been a bit more relaxed. my day involves the following, except when i work those pesky 62 hour weeks --

work, come home from work, play tennis, do laundry, eat dinner, watch tivo. but we are also re-doing our kitchen, which we started in january and havent really finished yet. and that makes me feel kind of crazy. the kind of crazy that makes me naggy mcnaggerstons. which makes the macs, as i shall now spell his name, not as happy. but macs doesnt always have the same sense of urgency that i do. which makes activities like redecoration happen in a painful way. i dont understand how those jackasses on home and garden tv redo an entire neighborhood in a weekend. i just dont get it.

work, as mentioned previously, has been great. except for the 62 hours part. alot of nail-biting responsibility, which also is great, except, i have a tendency to totally freak out in my head about everything. i feel a deep sense of personal responsibility at my job and that doesnt always jive with my ever growing obsessive compulsive personality. when did i get so high strung? have i always been this way and never known? i wish someone had said something. but my co-workers and i were treated to a "lets leave work early on friday and drink, drink, drink to our amazing ability to do amazing architectural things" shin-dig. yeah, cool, except it was a total drink-off. and while those can be fun, leaving a bar you dont really know the name of, calling various people 12 times and demanding where they were (as if that would help), managing to wander to the right subway station to then fall asleep on the subway and stumble the two-blocks home from the last stop is not my idea of a good time. dont get me wrong, it was an absolutley hilarious evening. it's just that the next day is not how i ever want to spend a saturday ever again. oof.

so simply recovering this weekend, curling up from the rain with two exciting netflix's and two sleepy cats.

so thats what 53 hours feels like

yeah. it's been very busy. work has been pretty intense, but again, very gratifying. some drawings that are being sent to contractors and the like, to be, you know, built, have my name on them. as in, i drew them. and some schmo' is going to use them to build something.
what?
so it has been a bit surreal -- not to mention thanking my lucky stars i am not salaried. because i love me some time and a half. but that is enought about the work. its good. i am tired.
school, as of this evening, is over. so i can have my weekends back. enjoy my life. sleep in. cook food. i can not wait. the completion of the kitchen is shortly upon the sklar-brown household, especially since my landlord ok'ed the new flooring. love it when my nice russian landlord helps out. it makes me feel less like a plain old renter, and more like a renter who has a place that is more like home.
the max has also been busy. he has this studio space now where he builds models and thinks about buildings. not particularly in that order.
as you can tell from my picture, i am becoming fascinated with interior finishes from 3m. this money plant suspended in plexiglass is my favorite. i can image some amazing kitchen cupboards made out of it....

wife

max likes to be cute and call me wife.
and then i punch him in the face. no, not really, but i probably punch him on the arm. but he totally started it.
as you can tell, from our return from the dead, that things are well in the sklar-brown household. i wont try to imitate max's delightful prose, but i think, dear readers, you can all tell that joy has been restored!
it has been a busy week at the work -- there are many stores going out this week, so many drawing sets are being created, red-lined, and redrawn. but it is very fast paced and very exciting. i hate to admit, but i worked from 7am - 11 pm. but it was great. isnt that disgusting? i think its hideous that i could enjoy my job this much, but i do. i have this great project manager who has been an amazing guide; always answering my silly and not so silly questions with endless patience and humor. working for her is a piece of cake, and i know putting in the long hours eases her stress. so when did i become this capitalist workhorse?
one of the other project managers in my pc (profit center) is a classical musician on the side -- it has motivated me to get back into this business we call show. i miss it. finally. so auditions will be coming up in the fall and i will be there. it means i will take a class or so less, but maybe i can do both....

a very long absence

well, as it turns out, max and i are still alive. and i cant really blame anyone but myself for not posting. i am very jealous of my friend robert, who is amazing at not only being hilarious everyday, but actually posting something hilarious everyday.

but things have been exceptionally busy. there has been some kitchen renovation (still in the works) some new job overtime (talk more about that in a minute) and lots of school. this is actually the first sunday in some time that i have a moment to relax and try to sum up my life in a few semi-interesting paragraphs. i am also trying to write a paper on the signifigance of solitude in the Arnold Aboretum, but you probably dont want to hear about that (trust me).

so the new job. well, its pretty amazing in everyway. i finally managed to score a job in architecture/interior design. technically i am considered a drafter/desginer, but really i am mostly drafting for 8 hours a day, on a computer, and i am mostly drafting interior elevations at that. i am working in their retail division, which is very past paced -- lots of overtime if i want it, lots of crazy deadlines. april and may are evidently going to be quite a ride. my co-workers are talented and smart and extremely proficient at what they do. its quite intimidating and i keep imagining that someday they will find me out. but i am learning an immense amount of information on various architectural details, autocad, design solutions and what exactly the process of design to construction is like. like i said, its intense.

school is for suckers, and it has been hard to stay motivated and interested, epecially when i am learning so much at work. but summer is coming, my portfolio review is coming so there is plently to think about. i am very excited for summer. there will be time to craft, time to visit friends, time to enjoy boston. and for once, i imagine i will be able to feel settled in where i am. boston is more home to me now, more than it ever has been, more than other places have felt.

i am definitely ready for the lazy, lemonade sipping, porch dwelling.

more soon. really.

baking

today is the first day in a long, long while that i have some time to actually post, albeit a post on nothing.

life has consisted of work, school and sleep. more work and school than sleeping, but what can an aspiring singer/designer do?

i have begun voice lessons again, which is great. my teacher is excellent in every way -- and i must admit she is eager to get me "out there". she also makes statements like, "well if you are going to make money as a singer...." which sort of makes me freak out. make money as a singer? what? me? so, i will see where this is heading. last week i did right by christ and sang in one of boston's oldest churches, old south church. sam adams was one of its leaders, for example. O-L-D. it was certainly nice to be in front of people again, even if it was for jesus. i will take the jobs where i can get them, people.

my real job is going well and has certainly improved since the new girl started. things like responsibility and confidence have improved. there is also another person to be yelled at. that i like.

last night i watched empire of the sun, or something like that. think china during world war II. sad british colonialists. can i really feel sad for them? not really. and, while i love christian bale, his acted palette has not changed since he was 12. it is kind of weird.

so before everyone is asleep i shall sign off. perhaps the max will provide us with some entertaining fodder. i know he has been dying to talk about his feelings regarding the south.

smooches
a