the christ, the baby and impending doom

first of all, t'was the kaiser's first christmas. i believe he was sleeping, or being fed or held by some family member. that's really what he does best. but, he is much more alert now, so he spends more time awake. during this time, i desperately try to prove how much he loves me by getting him to smile, or giggle. oh, and giggling is new. and i also found out he really likes it when i try to "eat" his feet.


so, more about the baby? well, today we decided on a caregiver, re: second mommy. see, i sort of wish i could stay at home, but i also miss my job a little and we definitely need money(sidenote: apparently, at my office, working 20 hrs a week during your last months of pregnancy and then taking 2 1/2 months off of work = promotion and more money). but, i will honestly say that in a perfect world i would totally stay at home, at least for the first two years. instead, i have found doris, the kid's second mommy. which he will probably love more. but she is super bubbly and sweet and has been child watching for 17 years, has lovely children, etc. i tried to check out day care centers, but they totally sucked and were run by women named gloria who smelled like cigarettes and sadness.


so, i am trying to get myself together so i can go back to work on the 14th. and get back to designing. and crying at my desk.


however, tomorrow is a big day - its shot time. oooh, man. kaiser is so going to hate that. i am going to try really hard not to flip. hopefully, he will forget about this terrible day. but probably not. after all, second mommy never made him get shots.