last night my grandmother gave up the battle. and frankly i am relieved, because, from what i understand she was suffering a great deal. it is just such a strange thing, that death. and it just seems like our family is dwindling.

my mother seems okay. calmer than i thought. she is very afraid of the next couple of days. i think for her it is too soon for another funeral. we spoke last night and she told me that this is the third person to die when she wasnt around. her father died when she went home to rest, my brother was a surprise, and my grandmother evidently waited all day until my mother went home to feed the dog. i dont know it is coincidence or not, especially concerning my grandmother, but evidently she was making comments about how she was not afraid of dying as much as she was afraid how her children were going to be once she died.

all of it is very sad, of course, and tomorrow at 6 am, i will be heading to traverse city. it will be nice in many ways, since i havent been home in 9 months. and it will give me a chance to catch up with family, see craigs grave again.

but again, i am not as upset as i thought i might be. i am comforted by the fact that her suffering is over. but mostly it is just that strange void that happens when someone you know dies. it is a weird feeling.

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