baking

today is the first day in a long, long while that i have some time to actually post, albeit a post on nothing.

life has consisted of work, school and sleep. more work and school than sleeping, but what can an aspiring singer/designer do?

i have begun voice lessons again, which is great. my teacher is excellent in every way -- and i must admit she is eager to get me "out there". she also makes statements like, "well if you are going to make money as a singer...." which sort of makes me freak out. make money as a singer? what? me? so, i will see where this is heading. last week i did right by christ and sang in one of boston's oldest churches, old south church. sam adams was one of its leaders, for example. O-L-D. it was certainly nice to be in front of people again, even if it was for jesus. i will take the jobs where i can get them, people.

my real job is going well and has certainly improved since the new girl started. things like responsibility and confidence have improved. there is also another person to be yelled at. that i like.

last night i watched empire of the sun, or something like that. think china during world war II. sad british colonialists. can i really feel sad for them? not really. and, while i love christian bale, his acted palette has not changed since he was 12. it is kind of weird.

so before everyone is asleep i shall sign off. perhaps the max will provide us with some entertaining fodder. i know he has been dying to talk about his feelings regarding the south.

smooches
a

it is hot like no tomorrow

whew....

yeah, so it has been a very long time since i have written. thank god max was there to inform those out there who are interested that we are still alive.

i always seem to forget that moving is such a painful, horrendous, horrible, awful, painful, wretched, awful, horrible expirience. and we werent the most prepared. it turns out that both of us working full-time creates a very disorganized and uncompleted task list -- and packing was certainly low on the list of important things to do. why you ask? well, after moving heavy boards full of mohair and cut chenille, the last thing i wanted to do was pack. and i have to admit that when i feel like i am the only one preparing for something important like moving, i get really overwhelmed, freak out and stop any work towards completion of whatever project is needed to complete. it is very bratty, but there is something in me that doesnt like it when i am the only responsible one. except, it isnt really like that. i just become melodramatic and make myself feel all overwhelmed....well, you get the picture. so i become horribly annoying. i tried to do less of that. really. max may have a different opinion.

however, we are actually all moved in -- but that doesnt mean we are organized. still alot of putting away -- sigh. it makes my ocd freak out a bit, but the fact we were able to put some curtain rods up today with some mighty fine curtains makes me relax a bit. yes i am THAT crazy.

tomorrow is full of more house work -- damn it, the apartment will be completed tomorrow! IT WILL! and perhaps some relaxation too. i am embarrassed to admit that i have been playing an awful amount of grand theft auto: san andreas. but i cant stop racing around a fictisious city, having sex with hookers and then killing them for their money. oh this game totally defies all of my personal beliefs -- i just cant stop playing it.

school is soon. that is scary. i have been contemplating some old work. hence the picture.

north conway was beautiful. we drove on a highway called kangamangefrangipangisomething or other. there was once a man on the mountain, but he has since fallen off in a landslide. oops. now new hampshire is mascot-free. it is definitely sad, considering how much touristy stuff still has the picture of the old rock face on it.

i will try to be a bit more regular about this updating thing now that we have the mighty internet.

until next time,

smooches.

datum

so when i think about the beginning of any drawing, i have to contemplate the datum. a line often used as a point of reference on a drawing. it can be anywhere or anything. it is different than the axis. some consider the horizon lines to be datums.

i sometimes forget the thin line that balances out my life. too much of anything is never a good thing. too little just as bad. i always seem to forget how much easier it is just to let some stuff go. no need to be on edge. it can be hard to know when i am on the verge of shrilldom.

too much sun has burned king max and he is now wrapped in gauze.

too much spending has currently left our bank account to only have $9.20. tomorrow that will change. thankfully. gratefully.

we have found our apartment for, what max and i hope to be, the next few years. it has five rooms. a dishwasher. a washer and dryer. a beautiful bedroom. a study! a large pumpkin colored bathroom. the owners are nice and new, and it is cheaper than the place we are living now. i am in love.

oh the anna french

well, like max, i hav acquired a design job. a real, honest to goodness design job. a job in which i play assistant while someone else, namely sassybosslady, plays the person who tells me to do menial tasks, like fold fabric samples. but really? i absolutely love it. i have an extremely funny sassybosslady, who is just about the best boss i have ever had. i mean, she calls me chickadee and has a partner who is hondurian. my co-workers are also super-sassy and one happens to be a brazilian, the other hailing from san fran. i am talking fabulous, people. i have to say, it is my most favorite job i have ever had, aside from teaching those really talented kids how to sing.
and.....i get to play with fabulous, fabulous high end fabrics. we are talking 250 dollars a yard. A YARD. and the best is this german line. oh. it. is marvelous.

so definitely feeling a bit more optimistic about the future. if we can just get over this july rent business and find ourselves a livable apartment that king max accepts, then life will be good.

an addendum

max actually walked six miles, both ways, to a total of 12 miles altogether.
you, dear reader, may decide the moronity.

smooches
a

how about a nice side of slave labor

my mother just called to inform me that the china buffet, a restaurant that i used to frequent in college and otherwise, is having major governmental issues and is closing 6 michigan restaurants due to slave labor. yep. evidently the china buffet is being accused of locking chinese employees in hotel and carting them off to work, without much food or any pay. i wonder if they are still operating in indiana? needless to say, i feel totally grossed out and horrified. there is nothing quite like aiding the economy of slaves....


Jun 9, 12:11 PM EDT

17 Chinese restaurants raided in Mich.

By JOHN FLESHER
Associated Press Writer

TRAVERSE CITY, Mich. (AP) -- Authorities raided 17 Chinese restaurants around Michigan that they suspect of ducking millions of dollars in taxes and importing undocumented workers as a "modern version of indentured servants."

Search warrants were also served at 21 homes of suspected undocumented Chinese workers. Dozens were involved in the scheme, State Police Lt. Curt Schram said.

"It cost them X number of dollars to come to this country and they're trying to work off that debt," Schram said.

Investigators believe one family or related families own the restaurants, which are mostly in the central and west-central areas of the Lower Peninsula, the statement said.

The owners are suspected of claiming only a third of their actual income and sending part of the proceeds out of the country, while shortchanging the state and federal governments of millions of dollars in sales, unemployment and use taxes, police said. About $400,000 in cash was seized.

Nine people were arrested at a Chinese buffet in Petoskey, and two people believed to be undocumented workers were charged with driver's license violations and jailed in Montcalm County. An additional 13 people were found to have deportation orders and were handed over to immigration authorities.

"It's some sort of modern version of indentured servants," Emmet County Prosecutor James Linderman said.

The investigation began with one detective checking out a report in Newaygo County and eventually involved 22 local, state and federal agencies, Schram said.

Businesses in other states also are being looked at, although warrants have been served only in Michigan, he said.

The raids turned up "a tremendous amount" of business records written in Chinese that must be translated, Schram said.

my right hand is so tired

the past few days have been hectic -- lots of cleaning, lots of organizing, lots of writing thank you notes. i refuse to be THAT bride who doesn't properly thank each and every person for being a part of the wedding. they made a sacrifice to attend, and i can sacrifice some time to extend my thanks.

tonight the max and i met up at the store and in that couple-ly way, shopped for groceries and made dinner together. oof! gross! love! we did, however, make the best hamburgers along with homemade fries and corn on the cob. delicious!

in spite of the gloriousness of love in my life, i cant help but feel utterly rejected in my job search. it has been rough. three serious interviews so far. and i have absolutely nothing to show for it. i cant help but think that if i was more awesome at (insert ridiculous ability here), then i would for sure get the job. i totally have talent. i totally can sell a lamp, i mean, JESUS. if ethan allen wont take me, who will?

smooches
a

i finally learned what 90% humidity feels like

so, it was a whirl-wind of a wedding.

i was very happy with how it all turned out -- everyone worked like dogs to make sure everything was as great as it could be. so much to do! my mother and sister created beautiful decorations and the huppah! oh the huppah! the rabbi was great, if a little too drunk at times, and it seemed like all the right people were there.

not that there wasn't a fair share of nerve-wracking moments. but those didn't outweigh the really good stuff that happened. i don't know why i thought i would have so much time with people. i think there were a few people irritated with the fact i wasn't able to see them more. but i think that is how weddings go....i did try really hard to make everyone feel as important as i view them to be!

there also was some snafus with driving people to the airport. really, there were many family members who needed rides and few cars to take them in. i feel bad, but i also feel like i shouldn't have had to bear the responsibility to make sure everyone got where they needed to be. i actually was very very busy decorating, shopping, cleaning, organizing, and making food. it wasn't alyson with mai tai's on the beach everyday. we are super broke, but we rented a car. i sincerely appreciate the sacrifice it took to come to myrtle beach, but i also had ALOT to deal with.

but truly, it was a glorious couple of days, even with the rain, crazy and stress. i will post some pictures soon! you can also check the reluctant receptionists view of the trip.

fake husband

so really, there truly is this man named max who i am going to marry next friday. really. he does exist. it is just that i cant get him to remember things, like writing on this here blog. which frankly, continues to make this a one woman show. which is just fine with me.

life has sped up considerably since school ended. lots of work to do before next friday. BECAUSE I AM GETTING MARRIED NEXT FRIDAY. oi vey. totally nervous about everything. but i did manage to get the flowers, finally. did you people know that mini-gerbs existed? too cute. and i will be having them. in many shades of pink. who knew that i would be having such a girlie wedding? and for those of you who know me, you know how i react to presents. nowadays i find myself screaming at least once a day. it is pretty great.

and the sklar/brown household would like to welcome michigans very own ry-boy mcclure to the fray. he is mystic ave's newest and youngest resident. unless you count the bunny, that is. it is one full house. minus uncle jesse.

ciao until next time, or until maxilla gets it together,
a

whew

ok, i am not dead, but i certainly feel like it!
today is my final review for studio. the big one, as we like to call it. i cant remember the last time i was awake for this long. since 8 am, wednesday morning. oof. however, i got some kick ass drawing done, a little watercolor and one mean design concept statement written. perhaps i can snow them once again?
here is hoping i actually stay awake for my presentation. i can almost see it now....

reviewer: so ms. sklar, i think you might need to re-think your entire design. it has soooo many flaws, blah blah....
me: um..o...k....zzzzzz
r: ms. sklar? um, is she actually.....ms. sklar?

yes, that is how it could take place. more later!

and if you havent noticed we are now adding max to the fray. i will force him to post soon.

smooches
a

full circle

well, i am back. i have been back since monday evening, but i have had nary a moment to update this ol' blog here. let me just say, until may 22, my writing on this little space in the internet may be a bit sporadic.
whew. what a week. not only am i on the edge of all sanity in terms of school and family, but i have a wedding to make fabulous! and fabulous it is going to be. i am so excited, i can hardly contain myself. everyone is getting their assigments. it is all coming together. i am talking lemon cucumber water people. we may be poor, but it is going to be one classy wedding. i cant wait to hear the music, see the decor my mother has planned. OH MY GOD! i am officially getting married in one month.
i also wanted to report on one of the cutest 12 year old kid type people i have ever met. she is a student of mine. and evidently practices so much in the house, her parents want to have voice lessons twice a week. she hates the war and gets in verbal fights with kids at school because they "only believe that their stupid parents tell them to" and she is continuously frustrated with people her age who dont seem to care about what is happening in the world. she has a voice like an 18 year old. she listens to every word i say. she is excited by opera. this girl is totally awesome. who knew i could actually love this job. today i had to teach four lessons and at the end of the lesson i was totally shocked that a half hour was up. i have never felt this way about a job.

last night my grandmother gave up the battle. and frankly i am relieved, because, from what i understand she was suffering a great deal. it is just such a strange thing, that death. and it just seems like our family is dwindling.

my mother seems okay. calmer than i thought. she is very afraid of the next couple of days. i think for her it is too soon for another funeral. we spoke last night and she told me that this is the third person to die when she wasnt around. her father died when she went home to rest, my brother was a surprise, and my grandmother evidently waited all day until my mother went home to feed the dog. i dont know it is coincidence or not, especially concerning my grandmother, but evidently she was making comments about how she was not afraid of dying as much as she was afraid how her children were going to be once she died.

all of it is very sad, of course, and tomorrow at 6 am, i will be heading to traverse city. it will be nice in many ways, since i havent been home in 9 months. and it will give me a chance to catch up with family, see craigs grave again.

but again, i am not as upset as i thought i might be. i am comforted by the fact that her suffering is over. but mostly it is just that strange void that happens when someone you know dies. it is a weird feeling.

a

send me to the promised land

well things in the land of moxie are relatively the same: lots of school, lots of work and one messy apartment.

last night was a lovely seder celebration at ben and rachael's. really, so wonderful. rachael re-wrote the hagaddah to be all-inclusive, full of liberation theology and completely community oriented. we washed each others hands, drank 20 bottles of wine and dined on some of the best vegetarian fair i have had in years. it was truly a remarkable evening. it was one of the best passover's i can recall. and like seders of my past, it lasted a full 6 hours, and we left at 1 in morning. delightful.

and thank god, because on the way to their house, which is in jamaica plain, max and i became horrendously lost. i mean HORRENDOUSLY. and we absolutely hated one another. it was great. we always get lost in boston. every single damn time we drive. and the conversation goes a-somethin' like this:

alyson: in an extremely grating voice, max, where the fuck are you going?
max: in an extremely irritated voice, dear, you want to drive?
alyson: hmpf...
max: yes, that is a great solution. how bout reading the map?
alyson: you know how i feel about THAT.
max: yes. you have made that quite clear. so i guess we will keep driving.....

it goes something like that for as long as we are lost. it is awesome.

a little bit of my work for you all  

blah! no more cranky, grumbly-bumbly-ness.

today was a serious of ridiculous events, most notably spending 4 hours doing autocad, which is this horrendous computerized drafting software. yes, i am somehow learning SOFTWARE. who knew?! but anway, my autocad partner in crime and i were attempting to get all of our drawings together, and it was a near diseaster. i mean, total alyson meltdown. the kind of meltdown where you cant see anything other than a bright, white light alternated by visions of the computer being thrown out the window. it went a little somethin' a-like this:

me : so, um, why cant i do this
partner in crime : sigh
me: no really, i just did this function like a minute ago
p-i-c: would you like me to get on the compy?
me: no, god damn it, WHY WONT THIS WORK.
p-i-c: --
me : AJKFHAPOIEY{PJOGNDPIOUAS){J FUCK@LA:KHFPOIHGPIHGOI. i hate autocad.

as you can tell, i am a REAL asset to the team. huge asset. huge ass.

tomorrow will be filled with lots of drawing, lots of crying and lots laughing and the hysterical nature of the next few weeks. haha. ha. heh. hfm.

the last word

my grandmother is dying. she was just moved to a special home, and is being made comfortable. last night my mother asked me to write a eulogy and an obituary. yeesh. i figured if i could do one for craig, i could certainly write one for ga. but for me, this woman has been pretty damn crabby for the last ten years or so. should i write about how we constantly argued about politics, religion and personal freedom? she believed in god, loved the pledge of allegiance, and well, had a word or to about those gays. what is it that i am supposed to write?
well, when i was younger she was absolutely the cool grandma. she wore wild outfits, very 80's make-up and had great jewelry. my sister and i loved her way more than our mother and spent months at her house. we were force fed endless amounts of dessert (that woman loves sugar), hugs and fun. but as she got older, and her body cause problems, life was quite unpleasant. and she essestially gave up and began to wait for what is happening now. in many ways it has been a great lesson. take care of yourself, do not become anti-social, keep that body moving.

because these waitresses will take shit from no one. and their fried chicken is marvelous.
 

sometimes i have to remember that reality checks are good. and to find a way to stop feeling so damn sorry for myself. blarg! and really how lucky i am so have such fabulous friends. i just wish i could make them all live in boston so i could tell them every day how neat i think they are.

i suppose it is easy to get caught up in one's one melodrama, but jesus. i am still sad about alot of things at the moment, but it isnt soul crushing, and i have work to do. i am over it. or at least i am not going to cry anymore.

during my boring mcboring color theory class, i figured out what we are going to be munching during the wedding celebration...and i am not telling. but damn. it is going to be marvelous. and the drinks! oh the drinks!

sometimes max gets mad at me for losing* his stuff. and he inevitably finds said item somewhere typical, like IN HIS BAG. THE BAG HE CARRIES WITH HIM EVERYDAY. yet before he finds the item, he gets mad and irrated that i have clearly thrown out something very precious to him, just for the simple pleasure of me making him go without. right.



*actually cleaning the apartment and putting away both of our stuff in its correct container such as putting band-aids back in the bathroom. WHERE THEY BELONG!

always in that pit of despair

well, yesterday was a painful day. the weekend was very stressful and was less of a weekend, and more like an extended week. i did not work very well towards my studio project, and it showed and i basically have to get my act together. our final review is in 6 weeks. it definitely makes me want to vomit.

i have this problem with hating to disappoint. ugh. i had to run to the bathroom to cry. i thought i might have a nervous breakdown. the jitteryness never stops. i no longer sleep. i wonder, is life always going to be like this?

my grandmother is dying, slow and fast at the same time. she doesnt know what is going on now, as she is on morphine. i spoke to her like a child a few days ago. she could barely remember her words. i havent been home in nine months. she will not know who i am in a few days.
not to mention that max and i are still not above poverty in any way. how does this happen? we buy groceries, pay bills. i always am shocked how we never have money. and we continue to disappoint.

yes, my stress is about disappointment. my teachers, my students, my in laws, my friends. and its hard to not think about all the ways, on a daily basis, i do not live up to my own standards.

whew, okay, this post is beginning to over itself. i think i am going to step away from the computer and this pit for a moment.

sometimes i am cute and sometimes max is cute 

no animals today

so instead of blogging pictures of my pets, i thought i would write a real post tonight. except that i am tired. so more tomorrow. but i am sure there will be a plethora to write about seeing as how my students are giving a recital tomorrow. oh its true. people ages 10-55 will be singing their little hearts out at the academy. already two of my students wanted to drop out of the recital. poor things, so afraid.
a

because today, i too, wish i could be high on a shelf like the always afraid lucia.  

panic

yesterday, i spent a great deal of time walking around the fancy streets of boston -- newbury and bolyston. it is very busy and fabulous, and i love that i spend a lot of my time there, even if it makes me feel like i need to rob various banks in order to afford a new wardrobe. i mean, it is hard enought to pass the newish marc jacobs store, but there are a bazillion cute, trendy, unique little boutiques all along newbury. but before i rob all of those banks, i have to figure out how i can become a size 2.
right.
i am feeling a great deal of panic and stress right now, which if course makes me do nothing related to that stress, unless one considers playing on the computer for an ungodly amount of time a reasonsable and school related activity. oi. it also makes me hate food, so my diet has become the liquid form, full of odwalla's superfood and v8. hey, at least i am getting my goddamn daily dose of fruits and vegetables. the only other real food thing that sounds remotely delicious is a bean burrito from the wrap. and forgive me for not wanting to eat a bean burrito every day. ooof.
soon i will be off to the laser cutting, the picture taking, the quiz failing and serious apartment cleaning that will be today.
ciao!
a

because i now realize just what an animal nutcase i am.  

oi vey, or really, the day from hell

so, yeah, its been one of those days. one of those days where you wake up an hour late, you forget all of your homework but still have to sit through three hour classes, files have gone missing from your computer, all your money is gone, and you are forced to sit through a painful seminar on how to find a design job where people yell at your for only knowing how to make a performance resume.
oi.
things that are good: i have spoken with a few far away friends today. that was good. my project for studio is going to be totally rad (if i can manage to pull it together) and in may max and i will be on easy street, that is, until we spend everything we own on some crazy wedding.
tomorrow is filled with more of the same, except a special trip full of longing to the fabulous madura, a interior design store that i want everything from. literally. unfortunately, i have to sketch it, dimension it and attempt an autocad drawing of it. you know, easy breezy.

a little artwork to cheer us all up

moving up

yeah, so officially i am going to write here now.

i keep having panic dreams -- on various subjects, but mostly the wedding.
i am also currently panicking about my homework this weekend. i am again, model building. this time without my boyfriend the laser cutter. ooof.

i wish i could actually say that fun things are a happening here in boston, but alas, poverty has struck again, and the homework is killer.

ah spring.

hey, perhaps i could be a little more sunshiny?